Don’t deny it. Your brain is totally weird too.
Remember the other day, when I was talking about my creative slump? I mentioned that when I get busy is when I tend to be less creative and also less motivated. This has continued.
I sat down to write this morning, and I noticed that I’m not just out of ideas. It’s like my brain shuts down non-essential functions to save strength for the coming apocalypse of responsibility. When I am not actively thinking about something right now, my brain is an empty room. I’m not upset, or stressed, or bored. My brain is straight up empty.
I’ve felt like I was empty of ideas or inspiration before, and this is different. When you are looking for a flash of inspiration, it’s like you’re digging through a box of junk in the attic/basement/garage. You know what you’re looking for is in there someplace, along with a bunch of crap you don’t need and never use but refuse to get rid of. You have a goal, and you’re reasonably certain about how to attain the aforementioned goal. Just keep looking through the box until you find it.
When I’m experiencing this level of low brain activity, it’s completely different. It’s like I don’t have an attic/basement/garage, a box or any stuff. I don’t know what I’m looking for, and I don’t have anything to look through anyway. So instead of mentally wandering into the storage space and taking some time to rummage around, I get tot the storage space and flip on the light, and there’s nothing. Then I forget why I went there in the first place. So I “Hmmph,” shut the light off and go sit down and wait for something to happen.
It’s an odd sensation to feel like you aren’t thinking anything. It results in a sort of detached feeling, similar to the time I talked about feeling like I was thinking at a different pace than I was existing. Not exactly the same though. It also can result in feeling anxious. When nothing is happening, and it’s like you’re preparing for something to happen, the waiting can cause some anxiety.
We’ll just have to see if it keeps up I suppose.