Well, Well, Well…

That’s a deep subject, I know. (Ba-dump, Tsss.)

I have to apologize for that. I haven’t been around for much too long, and the first thing I put up on the screen is a terrible pun. I am so sorry for that. And now I’m not sorry anymore. Ha!

At some point I’m going to have to stop writing re-introduction posts. My lack of skill in true multi-tasking precludes me from being able to concentrate on a multitude of things at once. I get busy with one or two things, and I get completely sidetracked from so many other things!

Multitasking (work desktop)

Multitasking (work desktop) (Photo credit: FransBadger)

I really meant to be writing one or two times a week. I managed to put that off. I’ve even been trying to write this very post for 4 days now. I haven’t been reading, or writing, or blogging like I should. These are the things that keep me sane. These are the sorts fo things that keep me mentally engaged.

It’s very easy for me to spend my days sitting and trying to recharge for the next round of crazy. I really should be doing little things that help me recharge in an active way so that I don’t create bad habits.

Soon enough, there’s going to be plenty of outside work to do, which is always pretty tiring for me. It’s rewarding to make the outside of a house and yard look nice, but it can be pretty exhausting. It also is the sort of thing that requires plenty of maintenance so the work is always on the horizon.

Here’s pushing for active relaxation in the coming days!

 

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Patience

I find that it takes quite some time to recharge my patience meter.

English: A vintage ampere meter. Français : Un...

English: A vintage ampere meter. Français : Un Ampèremètre à l’ancienne. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I work in a place where I deal with the general public. I also happen to work with people who are opinionated and we don’t always share the same opinions. These two facts tend to result in some frustrating days for me.

I’m a generally affable and patient person. I really prefer to go with the flow more often than not. The trouble I run into, like many things in my life, is that my patience has a very large inertia.

It can sometime take a great deal to wear my patience thin. Once I’m frustrated, it can take an even longer time to get me back to even again. That is not a good combination most days.

It’s especially bad when I get busy with work and home things all at the same time. I never get a chance to get that patience reservoir refilled. When I’m constantly running on empty, every little thing sets me off. Which causes me to overreact, obviously.

I’m not actually frustrated at the moment. It was just something that had been floating around in my head. I’ve been working on finding stress reducers and finding time to get away for a little bit to leave everything in the rearview mirror long enough to get right again. I have found that getting away from my everyday surroundings makes a big difference for me.

I’m off to find one of those stress relieving activities as we speak!

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Holiday Stress

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s that time of the year.

I don’t usually have problems on actual holidays. I understand that sometimes holidays can be stressful for people. There’s a lot of family interaction, and there is a lot of opportunity there for extra stress.

My stress always comes in the couple of weeks leading up to big holidays. Especially Christmas. It’s the planning that gets me.

I have trouble planning gifts very far in advance. I always have good intentions, and then ideas get side tracked, or I never get to the stores to enact my grand vision. I’m sort of okay this year, but I’m not done yet and that is definitely creeping around in the back of my mind.

I’m also really bad at planning visits. I’m awful at doing anything that isn’t already pre-decided. If the exact date of when I’m doing something with someone for the holidays isn’t the same from year to year, I’m going to have trouble figuring it out. Like this year. Then it gets put off, and people get grouchy, and I know it’s my fault for being bad at planning.

So that’s where my holiday stress happens. I don’t buy into the crazed shopping thing. I don’t get too worked up about the decorations. I don’t have too much trouble actually visiting with the relatives on the day of the holiday. I just can’t plan worth a shit.

I feel like that’s going to continue to cause problems until I get it solved.

Oh well.

Just Relax, and Focus.

I’m trying, I swear.

On the advice of a reader and fellow blogger, I will be taking a look at some options for meditation. I think it’s something that will likely help me stay centered, relaxed and focused. Which I need.

If you’ve been around a while, you know that I’m a few things: Easily stressed, easily overwhelmed, Overly emotional/reactionary, and I don’t relax easily. That’s kind of a volatile combination. I’m aware of it, and it’s one of the reasons I took up yoga.

Meditation

Meditation (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

As a mostly sedentary life-form, I knew I needed to find some sort of activity that would at the very least get me to move more than my remote control thumb. I also recognized that I have some emotional instability that could use some attention. So I looked for something that would benefit body and mind in equal measure. Yoga is definitely an improvement.

Given my tendencies to let future concerns worry me and my reactionary nature, it can be hard to use some of the ‘Be present in the moment’ lessons from my yoga practice. I think that I am getting a lot of what I need physically from yoga at the moment, but maybe the mental and emotional side needs a little more attention than my classes are providing.

That’s why I am taking advice to heart and I will be looking for some meditation techniques. Some of the more common techniques haven’t worked for me as of yet, but I might be able to find an uncommon one that suits me better. I am after all an uncommon person.

Aside from that, I am looking forward to the rest of this week. I have a small surprise planned for tomorrow, and the weekend might actually be relaxing for me. Along with my recent haircut, that I have been exceptionally happy with, decent HandEgg (American Football) from my teams, and the start of Basketball season, Things might just be getting upbeat enough to take away from work-based frustrations.

We will just have to see

Slowly, slowly.

I’m moving at a slow rate of speed.

Photo of a Florida Box Turtle (Terrapene carol...

Photo of a Florida Box Turtle (Terrapene carolina bauri). Taken in Jacksonville, Florida, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m tired. Physically and mentally, and it’s got me moving and thinking at a slower rate of speed than normal. Everything seems to be happening faster around me, and I’m just kind of slogging through. It’s not fun.

It’s frustrating to feel not only out of control, but powerless to change direction. Not pleasant to feel unable to keep up with the things happening around you either. Constant frustration leads only to anger.

I don’t like feeling slow. I prefer to feel like I’m out front of the crowd. Being ahead of the pack, means I can see more of what’s ahead of me than anyone else. This feeling sluggish gets on my nerves.

The worst part if feeling like I’m thinking slowly. I want to have a snappy and responsive mental capacity. It’s something I’m used to. I don’t shift gear very quickly or well. So I don’t want to feel any way but sharp.

It’s just plaing annoying.

Pop Emotions

Isn’t it interesting how the media we experience everyday can affect us in extremely profound ways?

I watched a television show that was doing a special episode having to do with the death of a character/actor. The character’s mother said something that really caught my attention. She said “but I would always think, ‘how do they wake up every day?’ I mean, how do they…how do they breathe, honey? But you do wake up. And for just a second, you forget. And then, oh, you remember.”

That split-second when you forget about something as painful as death, or the overwhelming feeling of stress you’ve been dealing with, or any other pain or loss. That one second when you heard something to make you forget or laugh. That one instant when you weren’t awake enough or were too focused to remember to be in pain. It’s beautiful and fleeting. It’s one of the small miracles of how we deal with insufferable pain.

Like everything else, we humans can’t let it be. Then we remember. It all comes crashing back in wave bigger than it had been before. Like a Tsunami, it’s worse for having been gone for that moment.

We all deal with pain, grief, and loss. We sometimes have time when stress and responsibility overwhelm us. It isn’t something we can avoid. When it’s really the crushing weight of something serious. When it’s something that pulls the tears from your eyes because you’ve just run out of other things to say and do, remember those instants of clarity.

Hold on to those seconds. Keep those moments close. When you catch yourself in one, draw it out. We all feel wrong when we stop being sad when we know we ought to be. Sometimes it’s those moments that get us through. The quiet joke, or the peaceful sigh.

It will all come rushing and crashing back. It will. It always does right after. Just try to hold tight to those seconds when it wasn’t. Sometimes that’s all you can hold on to.

Waves crashing

Waves crashing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I need a Vacation

No really, I need some time away from people.

I need to get more than a couple of days off. I could use a day or two to get caught up on home responsibilities. Get all of that out of the way.

then I need to take a couple of days to just go away. Like, into the woods, by a lake, with just food, books and paper to write/draw on. Or I could do out to the beach. I dig the beach. Especially in the fall when the evil sun is less prevalent.

English: Pismo Creek estuary, Pismo Beach. tak...

English: Pismo Creek estuary, Pismo Beach. taken from Addie Vacation Townhomes trail. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not trying to complain this time. I’m just making an observation. I haven’t really been able to find a way to get the batteries fully recharged recently. My job is such that I have to deal with a lot of people and a fair amount of stress most days.

I believe myself to be an introvert, who happens to be good at conversation. I may be fine at a gathering of people, but I generally prefer quiet/just music and solitude/less interaction.

I’m able to just about get myself recharged enough to function the next day. Then I use the weekends to make a big push to be functional for the week. That typically means that I’m pretty wiped out at the end of the work day. Which usually results in a desire to be a bum the rest of the evening.

I just need to get a full recharge under my belt. I’m not sure how I’m going to make that happen though. I might have time to get away for a day or two, but I’m certainly not going to get a week or half a week off of work.

C’est la vie I suppose.

Adulthood sucks.

Straight up, being an adult sucks.

Sucks Less with Kevin Smith

Sucks Less with Kevin Smith (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There isn’t much that adequately prepares you for the royal pain in the ass being an adult is. People think that they can go out of their way to “prepare you for the real world” but mostly it’s all crap. It just isn’t possible to simulate the flurry of shit that comes towards you on a daily basis.

School doesn’t prepare you for work. Summer jobs don’t really give you a sense of what will be expected of you later. It’s really a trial by fire kind of situation. Some of us are really pretty terrible at it.

Some of us just aren’t all that capable of handling the multiple stressors of all the things that happen in everyday life.  Some of us get to a point, far sooner than everyone else, and we just kind of shut down. It becomes hard to do anything because all of our energy got used up just trying to keep our heads on straight long enough to make it though part of the day.

Some of us end up spending more than half of the day walking around like a zombie because we’re just done. The only energy we have left is being used to keep us upright and functional. That’s it. that’s all we’ve got left.

Sorry if that means we look sad. Maybe you think we’re in a bad mood. Maybe we just don’t engage the way you’d like. Well, there’s not always anything that can be done about that. I’d say you’re lucky we’re able to move around in the world and not just crumble into a heap on the floor.

Sorry to vent, but at the moment there isn’t a lot of fire left in this boiler room. There’s a lot of treading water going on right now. You know it’s bad when you can’t make it to lunch time before you’re done for the day. I suppose we just keep trudging through, right?

Average: It’s better than bad

Today has the very real possibility of being an average day. This is an improvement.

Today could be good. Relatively speaking. If the trend has been operating at an overall lower average for a somewhat extended period of time, then the true average becomes positive!

Today might work out. I have a fair amount of work to do. It’s repetitive, mostly mindless work. I’m actually pretty good at this portion of my job, so it will not require excess concentration. I will likely be able to lose myself in this project for the day. There’s even the possibility I could spend a portion of the day with headphones in, blissfully ignoring other people and things.

Earbuds

Earbuds (Photo credit: StevenW.)

I’m actually able to listen to pretty much any music I want at work, as long as no one complains and I keep it at a reasonable volume. I typically have something playing all the time. I like to have the music, it helps me focus. Sometimes, there’s just too much other stuff going on though.

I really like to be able to put in noise cancelling headphones and just do what I have to do. That’s one of the only pluses to having to mow the lawn; I get to just listen to whatever I want for an hour. I might be able to pull that off today.

My overall patience level right now is pretty low, so being able to avoid some of the less important stressors and focus on some work ought to let me clear my head a bit. I might even be able to turn the repetitive work into a kind of meditation. We’ll just have to see.

A man can dream, right?

I’m Baaaack!

English: US Capitol at night. A mosaic image o...

English: US Capitol at night. A mosaic image of around 10 segments taken with a Canon 5D and 24-105mm f/4L IS lens. Español: El Capitolio de noche. Русский: Американский Капитолий ночью Српски / Srpski: Амерички Капитолиј ноћу Українська: Американський Капітолій уночі (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello Ladies and Germs.

I can now tell you where I scampered off to for the last 5 days or so. Vacation!

As a vacation/5 year anniversary trip The Wife and I went to Washington DC. I didn’t really want to tell all of you ahead of time, in case one of you had any inclination to steal all my stuff. Well, not so much those of you who stop by on the regular, but this is the Interweb and anything can happen. Better safe than sorry.

I won’t give you the play by play, but I can give you the quick itinerary:

Friday: Fly out at 6:25 am (too early), museums during the day, monuments at dusk/night.

Saturday: Sleep in, Museum, walk around the White House, relatively nice dinner(it was awesome. Hollandaise sauce should be on everything. Everything.) Ghost tour, drinks at a couple of the fancy hotel bars.

Sunday: Museum, pictures, Surprise for Anniversary, Super Fancy Anniversary Dinner(Out of this world. We won’t talk about the bill, but I would venture to say, Worth it!), Capitol building night pictures.

Monday: Capitol tour, Library of Congress, Supreme Court, Kill time until flight at 9:15 10:15 because it was delayed(too late)

My feet hurt, my legs hurt, I’m still tired and one day off work when I got back wasn’t enough but here we are! It was a lot of fun. If I get some good stories after I process I’ll make sure to relate them.

So what all did I miss? Anything?

I have to say that I think we all deserve more vacations. We all need some time to recharge the batteries. If we had more opportunities to do that, whatever you choose to do, I think we would all be a little less stressed out. It’s all cumulative, so not being able to take that time out and step back just gets more detrimental the longer we go without it.

I’m pretty guilty of never finding any time to decompress. There are lots of ways I could in my everyday life without having to go on vacation, I just don’t make the best use of my time some days.

I could disconnect from the digital world and just sit and read for fun, instead of to finish a book. I could sit on my porch with some music and a beverage(adult or otherwise) and just enjoy the fresh air. I’m sure there are more of you who don’t take time to get everything back in order.

It’s much easier to just keep pressing on. Keep moving through your day and going from one item to the next on the never ending list we all have. It’s even sometimes easier to do something mindless like flip on the television or video games, simply because stopping and thinking hat would really let you relax is too much out of the ordinary.

Just think about that the next time you feel wiped out but still find yourself doing something mindless.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Do you think we need more vacations? Or do you find enough time to get your head clear?