Nothing to do

English: GI CARD GAME, Watercolor, James Pollo...

English: GI CARD GAME, Watercolor, James Pollock, CAT IV, 1967, Courtesy of the National Museum of the U.S. Army (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes, you’ve got stuff to do, but still nothing to do.

Weird right? I know you understand what I’m talking about though. You may have things that need done. Projects, or chores or something of that nature.

Maybe they don’t actually need done right now. You could do it and get it out of the way, but it’s probably not going to happen. So you’re busy looking for something else to do. You just can’t find anything.

No matter what leisure time activity you think of, nothing sound like something you want to do. So while avoiding the stuff you could do, there’s nothing else to do. It’s really annoying.

I mean really annoying. Sometimes you spend days and days thinking ‘I’d like to do ________ if I just had the time. I never have any time.’ When it just so happens you might have a little bit of free time, nothing really appeals. Then you find yourself sitting and wasting time, hoping something will eventually attract your attention. then you end up doing nothing and you wasted your hard earned free time.

Well that’s just dumb. It’s frustrating to know that you could be making better use of your time, even if it’s just something you want to do and not need to do. Feeling like you’re not making good use of your time sometimes feels like a failure. Like it’s one more thing you can’t do right. “I can’t even relax properly.”

I suppose that comes with the territory of responsibility.

Why Hello

Hola! I have returned!

hello, weekend.

hello, weekend. (Photo credit: erin m)

Well, to be fair, I never really went anywhere. Since last week was Thanksgiving, and I was off of work for a couple days, I decided to treat the whole time like the weekend. Since I don’t post on the weekends, that meant I wasn’t around much.

I’m glad that I took a few days to do weekend-like things. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you ahead of time, but I felt adventurous and like it was the right thing to do. Now, I am back!

Unfortunately, when I don’t do a lot of interesting things, I don’t have a lot of interesting stories to tell. When I don’t have a lot of deep thinking sessions, I don’t have any profound mysteries of life to discuss with you. For today, I think that’s okay.

I can say that over the 4 days off I watched a lot of (American) Football, ate quite a bit of turkey and assorted side dishes, and didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about responsibilities. I can’t say that I didn’t do anything that might qualify as responsible, but I didn’t spend time thinking about things hanging over my head.

Maybe soon I will be able to get back to writing in the morning. I have excellent ideas then. Until then, I will attempt to find things worth our time and effort here. After all, how will we solve the worlds problems if we don’t figure them out first?!

Growin’ Up

Know what I find weird? Adult chores. Don’t get all excited, this isn’t some sort of raunchy way to get work done. I’m talking about those chores you didn’t even realize someone had to do until you were an adult and no one did them for you.

Now obviously, you get slowly introduced to some of these things as you grow up. Cooking, cleaning, mowing the lawn, shoveling the driveway. Things of this nature you find out about early enough, usually because your parents make you participate. It’s partly giving them less to do, partly “Character Building”.

The weird chores I’m talking about are like subsets of chores or portions of chores that you just never realized required attention. I’m sure we all know that someone has to go get the groceries, and there are no grocery gnomes to go shopping for you over night. I wish there were, because those little bastards would save me SO much trouble. The thing you might not realize at a younger age is that someone also has to DECIDE what to buy at the store. You have to pay attention to how much you’re getting, how much it costs, what meals you can use it for. Another thing is mowing the lawn. Sure we know that someone has to go out and actually start the mower and move over the grass, but there are other little tasks that require your attention. Make sure you have gas, make sure there’s oil, make sure the blade is sharp, make sure the grass can be mulched and doesn’t need bagged or raked.These are the responsibilities that really put a damper on the whole “I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want” thing.

I think the thing that really gets to me is that there isn’t really anywhere to get this info. Some people might learn more about mowing, for example because they live on a farm or whoever mows their lawn is very particular and teaches you more than the average parent. It’s almost like there should be some post-graduate high school classes on useful information that you might need as an adult. Little stuff like “make sure you use fabric softener either in liquid or dryer sheet form(but not both) if you don’t want t-shirts made of thin cardboard.”

Eh, I’m probably over thinking it. I just had to get my mower blade sharpened today, and I was musing on how it’s not something I’d ever thought of doing before.

English: Reel lawn mower

English: Reel lawn mower (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What are the little things that get you?

[HEADDESK]

It has been one of those days.

One of those days where every time you turn around, something else pops up for you to do. You know, before you finished that last thing?

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “So? Sounds like a nice busy day to make work go quickly. I don’t see the issue here.” To this I respond: HORSEAPPLES!

Actually, I’m pretty jealous of people that can just handle every new thing that flies at them with grace, style and aplomb. I am not one of those people. The time something requires to be completed does not directly correspond with the amount of time it occupies my capacity for working effectively.

Imagine an old computer that you’re trying to print from: You click Print, and the little progress bar pops up. Then you wait for it to scroll across, which takes forever, and when it’s almost done the printer spits out your document. The thing is, the little progress bar never quite finished, and now the computer is locked up and you can’t get it to do anything. This is how my brain works.

A new progress bar 90%

A new progress bar 90% (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I get a lot of things that get thrown at me, without the ability/time to think and prioritize I kind of shut down a little. It ends up being a bit worse because I tend to have a pretty short temper. Oops. I should meditate or something. Get centered, Zen like.

All that aside, I REFUSED to let that be something that would keep me from writing/chatting with all of you today. That’s what this is for me; It’s an open conversation with wonderful people. So y’all are making me feel better. Even though I technically have my part of the conversation by myself and there’s no way for any of you to answer until I click ‘Publish’. Well this just got awkward, I just pointed out to myself and you, that I’m basically taking to myself and pretending you can hear me right now. I know you can hear me later, but not while I’m actually typing… Ok and now we’re in another weird time-stream thing where the reality of what I’m saying exists in present for me, and in my future it will exist in your present. I should stop I’m starting to get vertigo.

Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays, huh? I vote we make Monday the official start of the week, but it’s totally cool if you want to treat it like an extra weekend day. Then if you have stuff to do or need the cash, you can come to work and get paid. If you just need one more day, no one is gonna call and give you crap over it.

If only I were in charge of everything….  I’d probably spaz out and not be able to handle the responsibility.

How much better than me do you handle multiple responsibilities flying at your head?

Where’s my walker?

I’m getting OLD! I just need more cats than any human should have, I need to drive irrationally, and I need to say moderately offensive things because I can and I’ll be right there!

No but really, tomorrow is my 27th birthday. I think these young adult birthday years are some of the worst.

I’m not really THAT old, but certain things are beginning to happen that lead me to believe I’m not as footloose and fancy free as I once was. The main culprit here is responsibility. We’re not even going to talk about that bastard. Responsibility is a dream-killing asshole and we won’t be paying anymore attention to him.

Anywho, my point here is these birthdays are right in the middle of the 2 major types of birthdays. When you’re younger, every birthday is exciting. People buy you toys, and each birthday brings you a step closer to new experiences as you get bigger. When you’re older, birthdays are usually a time for reflection, or for being grumpy that more things hurt today than hurt yesterday and it’s not getting better. Also, people buy you stuff you need and you get to buy yourself something you’ve wanted all year.

These young adult birthdays typically result in being too old for fun stuff, and too broke to buy stuff for yourself. All you’re left with is the being grumpy about getting older, and people figuring you’re too old to buy anything good for anymore.

Well now that I’ve made myself sound old and grumpy by complaining about feeling old and grumpy, I plan on avoiding all semblance of responsibility for the next 24-48 hours.

That’ll teach ’em!

Though I’m not sure who ‘they’ are.

I’m a Big Kid Now!

As I was poking around on Freshly Pressed today I came across This Post on sweetandweak.

I felt obligated to post about my own personal inner child.

If you know me well, you know that the concept of me having an inner child is completely ludicrous. I don’t have an inner child and the thought is comical. In case you don’t know me that well, let me explain: I do not, in fact have an inner child. I don’t have an inner child because I never made a conscious decision to put that kid away.

My inner child hangs out with me every day. He’s chillin’ with me right now, and never bothers to go away. You know how little kids never seem to go away, they just hang out and ask you questions right when it’s most inconvenient? Yup, that’s how it works. Notice that with children if you haven’t seen them in a while and it’s quiet, something is seriously wrong? Yep same here.

I suppose I didn’t really stop and say to myself, “Self, let’s never grow up! Let’s really embrace that whole ‘I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys-R-Us kid’ ad campaign.” I just haven’t grown out of so many innocuous, child-like things.

I want to be clear here, it’s not like I can’t handle responsibility. I’m not particularly good at it, but that’s just one of those things. We all have strengths and weaknesses, don’t judge me. Most of my tendencies are in the vein of “I don’t see a reason to stop doing that, just because I’m X number of years old now.”(27 at the end of the month, so really getting up there!)

I’m sure if you ask My Wife, it can be a little taxing some days. Generally speaking, I ATTEMPT to be civilized and respectable and whatnot in front of parents, in-laws, other adults, new friends and ‘serious business’ type friends, mostly for her benefit. I try, I promise. When I’m home alone, or when I can’t contain myself any longer and it’s just My Wife around, all bets are off.

Some of the less ridiculous and embarrassing examples would be: I run and slide across the kitchen floor practically every time I go through the kitchen/dining room in socks, I color in coloring books, and animated movies usually entertain me more than live action ones.

Sometimes it can be one of those personality traits that feels like it’s keeping me from being a ‘Real Adult’. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane in this world where everyone and everything is on a schedule that I can never seem to stay on top of. At the end of the day though, it’s just one of the MANY quirks that makes me who I am.