Thoughts

Sometimes they swirl. A wild maelstrom of separate clouds, twisting and coiling in the circling winds.

Other times they bounce. Tiny bouncing seeds falling from great heights.

Often they flutter. Dancing on the breeze, flitting about in no discernible direction.

Occasionally they swim. Darting and turning in unison, in a school.

Rarely they are peaceful. Swaying in the breeze in a field.

They are never quiet.

 

English: Abstract art work

English: Abstract art work (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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All over the place!

So I got to thinking tonight.

Thought Bubbles

Thought Bubbles (Photo credit: Michael Taggart Photography)

I know, that’s a dangerous situation. I’m a pretty unpredictable guy. Sort of. I’m sure the people that know me best could pick what I might do with a relatively accurate percentage.

Overall I’m pretty all over the place. A lot of assumptions about me don’t really ring true. I enjoy this.

I enjoy being unexpected. I enjoy being interesting. I enjoy being weird. I did happen to notice that this is a little strange for writing here.

See, sometimes I’m so unexpected, that I’m not sure what to say about myself. I’m not shy about a lot of things, but I may not think something is as important when it’s not something someone else mentioned.

I tend to be a ‘something like that happened to me once’ or a ‘Hey that reminds me’ kind of guy. It goes along with the weird way my brain makes connections.

So since that’s the case, I’ll do a kind of ‘ask me anything’. Feel free to leave a comment with a suggestion or question. If it’s a quick answer I’ll respond in the comments, but if I think it bear some explaining, I’ll just respond in depth in a post! That way I know someone wanted to hear whatever it is that I’m babbling about.

 

The Man Inside the Head

Have you ever seen a man that lives inside a head?

It’s very strange. Most people live in a house or other sort of shelter. This man lives inside a head!

Where there would be a brain, he lives right in there! It’s bigger on the inside you know, a head is. There’s room for a whole lot of rooms.

The human mind is capable of many things, but one wouldn’t think it could house a whole human being!

I’ve seen this man walk right out of his head-home and just move through the world as if there were nothing odd about his living arrangement. It was quite shocking.

The really surprising thing, is that it isn’t just any head that he lives in. He lives inside his own head. Can you imagine?

It’s strange enough to live inside a human head, but to live inside your own head is quite extraordinary. It’s a bit Escher-like, isn’t it?

Escher Sphere

Escher Sphere (Photo credit: LostBob Photos)

Over-think this!

I’m an over-thinker. It’s one of those things that I can’t really control sometimes.

Cover of "What If? Classic Vol. 1 (Marvel...

Cover of What If? Classic Vol. 1 (Marvel Heroes)

Since I tend to focus on the negative,(I’m working on it, chill) what ends up happening is my brain goes to a “Worst Case Scenario” kind of place, and runs with some pretty terrible ideas. I’ve read that Humans are the only species to not only focus on “What-If” type scenarios, but that our minds can’t distinguish between the thoughts of it happening and the actual experiences of it happening. This results in people(me especially) creating situations in which we’re as stressed out by the concept of something bad happening to us as we would be if it actually happened. I don’t have to experience, let’s say loosing my job, to know about the level of mental distress it would cause. I only have to sit down and think really hard about what would happen.

Since I am a freaking PRO at this, I sometimes get myself in an overwhelmingly negative place based on nothing more that speculation. I also tend to be a little hyperactive so my brain kinda starts making serious leaps of logic.

Here’s a for instance: I have a really bad day at work. So I start to think about how I want to get a different job. Well then I think how hard it is for me to look at job listings and get information sent out around work. So I decide it would be better if I quit my job first. Then I would have lots of time to apply other places. Unfortunately, that means I’m not bringing any money in. Then we would be hurting for money. What if I couldn’t find anything else? What if even fast food places and restaurants aren’t hiring? How many months could we go? Would I be able to get my old job back? Then they would resent me for trying to leave in the first place. The Wife would be disappointed that I had to go back to my old job. She would never see me as capable of providing for us. She would see me as a terrible husband.

That was just a small for instance, but you see how it gets out of hand quickly inside my head? The end thought that I get stuck with and start focusing on there is: I’m not a capable provider and a bad husband. The Wife could do better. That’s a really destructive and negative place to be stuck. I don’t want to be thinking that, and it’s a pretty long way removed from the original “Work sucked today”.

The problem is that while that sort of thought process doesn’t happen all the time, it’s a pretty quick decent to a pretty dark place. It can happen with any thought at any time, but since I sometimes lean towards being a little more negative it happens with negative emotions a little more frequently.

I’m not actually feeling like this about anything right at the moment. My recent writing renaissance has helped me quite a bit in that regard, I feel. I just happened to be pondering this morning about this here blog and I felt like I needed to explore my negative over-thinking a little bit.

Is this something the rest of you do? Did you know that Human beings are the only species that can’t emotionally distinguish between thoughts and experiences?