Brains are Weird

Don’t deny it. Your brain is totally weird too.

Remember the other day, when I was talking about my creative slump? I mentioned that when I get busy is when I tend to be less creative and also less motivated. This has continued.

I sat down to write this morning, and I noticed that I’m not just out of ideas. It’s like my brain shuts down non-essential functions to save strength for the coming apocalypse of responsibility. When I am not actively thinking about something right now, my brain is an empty room. I’m not upset, or stressed, or bored. My brain is straight up empty.

storage unit

storage unit (Photo credit: hey skinny)

I’ve felt like I was empty of ideas or inspiration before, and this is different. When you are looking for a flash of inspiration, it’s like you’re digging through a box of junk in the attic/basement/garage. You know what you’re looking for is in there someplace, along with a bunch of crap you don’t need and never use but refuse to get rid of. You have a goal, and you’re reasonably certain about how to attain the aforementioned goal. Just keep looking through the box until you find it.

When I’m experiencing this level of low brain activity, it’s completely different. It’s like I don’t have an attic/basement/garage, a box or any stuff. I don’t know what I’m looking for, and I don’t have anything to look through anyway. So instead of mentally wandering into the storage space and taking some time to rummage around, I get tot the storage space and flip on the light, and there’s nothing. Then I forget why I went there in the first place. So I “Hmmph,” shut the light off and go sit down and wait for something to happen.

It’s an odd sensation to feel like you aren’t thinking anything. It results in a sort of detached feeling, similar to the time I talked about feeling like I was thinking at a different pace than I was existing. Not exactly the same though. It also can result in feeling anxious. When nothing is happening, and it’s like you’re preparing for something to happen, the waiting can cause some anxiety.

We’ll just have to see if it keeps up I suppose.

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And The Crowd Goes Wild!

What’s that? A second post in the same day?! WHAAAAAT?!

I know. It’s totally insane, right?

Straight Jacket

Straight Jacket (Photo credit: marcus_jb1973)

I said earlier that I’m doing this for me. Putting a second post up, makes me feel like I’m not slacking off writing here. I want to write, but I have a bad habit of putting things off. I don’t make time for what I want sometimes. That wasn’t really the case on Friday and Monday; Friday I was busy at work and then we had to drive in the evening and I was away from home, and then Monday I thought it was a weekend day. So I didn’t have time Friday, and Monday was a complete whiff.

Forgetting and running out of time don’t really bother me until after the fact. The days that bother me are the ones when I think about writing something, and then make an active decision not to. I haven’t had one of those days since I started back up.

I’m really proud of the fact that I haven’t actively missed any weekdays since I came back full force on this. I connected with some crazy, awesome, and crazy awesome people. I have put together some of the best thoughts and writing that I’ve ever done. I have gotten fantastic feedback.

So Thank You all for helping me keep my head in the game, whether you know that you helped or not. This has been wild, and it’s only going to get better as I keep growing. I think I might throw a surprise your way soon, keep those eyeballs peeled! (But not really. Please don’t peel your eyeballs. I will TOTALLY feel bad if you injure yourself peeling your eyeballs.)