All about Attitude

Apparently, attitude is a decision.

A co-worker spent the day today reminding us that your own attitude is a decision you make. I think, for the most part, that she’s right. Generally speaking, you decide on your own attitude. There are always things that can make you feel a certain way, but you decide how you react to them.

It sounded a little new age-y and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it initially. I tend to be a very volatile and reactionary person. I have a mercurial attitude, and there are a lot of things that are able to get under my skin. I’m especially vulnerable when I’m already stressed or worn down. I do think that people don’t understand my personality sometimes.

I’m not saying that they should have to like the way I sometimes can act, because I know it could come across differently when you can’t see inside my head. I vocalize a LOT of things. When something happens, I vent. When I’m unhappy, I complain. When I get frustrated, I express that loudly and verbally. All that is just my pressure release valve. Sometimes I just need to get all of those thoughts and feelings out so that I don’t stew over them.

Caution, Relief Valve Port

Caution, Relief Valve Port (Photo credit: fatedsnowfox)

Take my reluctance to mow the lawn when I was in high school. I knew when the lawn needed mowed, but I would always wait for my dad to tell me to do it. Then I would whine and complain and mope around about how much I hated it. That never meant that I wasn’t going to do, I just wanted to get all of my complaining out first.

I know that isn’t always fair to the people who have to listen to it, but I just operate a little better that way. I think out loud. I work through my problems better out loud. I process information better out loud. I remember things better when I talk about them out loud. It’s more the act of vocalizing it than it is anything else. Just one of my quirks I guess.

All of that being said, I think my co-worker had a point. If you decide to let everyone else control your attitude, you end up feeling helpless and defensive all day. Every time something happens, it happens to you, without your consent. When you become an active participant in your own attitude, you don’t let other people determine how you feel as easily.

I’ll have to keep that in mind this week. Give a good effort at deciding how my day is going to be, and then operating within that framework. I’ll let you know if I manage to give it a solid try.

Deep, cleansing breaths…

One of those mornings.

Jenga

Jenga (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Where everything feels like it’s out to get you? Every little piece of everything just adds another piece to your Jenga tower of frustration. I’m very close to being a bad sport and flipping over the table we’re playing on.

I probably need to go take my version of a smoke break and just sit and breathe. That always seems to help frustration. Of course mentioning it on here typically seems to get some of the vitriol flowing out instead of seething within.

I don’t even need to complain per se, I just need to get the words moving and shifting on the page and it seems to help. It’s hard to be furious and frustrated when you’re forming and shaping words.

One of the things that wasn’t so much a big problem as a minor frustration that only seemed like a problem is because of the rest of the morning had to do with this here blog. Apparently, WordPress and Facebook had a little tiff, and none of my posts since June 14th have been publicized over on Facebook. Since I only keep FB around to connect with old friends, I hadn’t really noticed. So that’s a little annoying.

As I’ve only recently(as in the last 6 months or so) actually blogged consistently I don’t have what could be called a large audience yet. Using the publicize feature was one of the ways I was getting the page in front of eyes. So it was a little disheartening that there was all that time that people could have been stopping by that maybe thought I had given up again.

Oh well. Time to try to knockout a few bits of work I have waiting, eat some lunch food, and take some deep breaths. Not necessarily in that order. Maybe I’ll be able to relax by the time I go home.

Maybe.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

How do you deal with ‘those mornings’?

Upside Down (In Which My Day Went From Up To Down)

I woke up in the BEST mood this morning. When I got to work, people were unhappy, but I wasn’t going to let that get to me, no way.

Then people continued to be unhappy. The work wasn’t getting done fast enough. More people needed more things done. Eventually I gave in. Work had successfully broken my spirit for the day.

Generally speaking, it’s inevitable. Sooner or later on most any given day I’m going to stop trying to be pleasant and give in to my inner ‘Bruce Banner’. For the rest of the day, every small frustration adds itself to the pile and I tend to ‘Hulk out’.

Some days I manage not to get frustrated at all. Those days are few and far between. Generally I just try to contain my rage to small outbursts of violence when no one is watching. It’s a wonder I haven’t broken my hands yet.

Don’t worry though, it’s ok now. I took a nap and ignored the world for an hour. That always helps.

-Christopher