Music Man

Sometimes it’s the music.

Sometimes the music is what perfectly crystallizes your thoughts in to cohesive form. It can be difficult to isolate some of your feelings. Lots on information can sort of swirl together to create big cloud of confusion. You aren’t really sure what you’re feeling and thinking. That’s where the music comes in.

Music is verbal emotion blended with an embodiment of emotion. It’s pulses and thinks and feels like it’s own person. Of course, each piece of music has it’s own personality, that doesn’t change much from playthrough to playthrough. That’s what music is.

That’s part of why it speaks to us on that primal level that we can’t always identify. That’s why we have such strong emotions about it. That’s why we can’t always articulate our feelings or opinions about it.

Music digs within us and accesses a part of our being that we aren’t able to get to ourselves. We can’t talk about it or process some of those thoughts and emotions. It gets down to the part of us that just is.

That’s why sometimes it’s the music that suddenly seems to say what we couldn’t. It speaks to the world what we weren’t able to understand. It does it without our understanding or consent. That’s precisely why it’s so magical.

new age 296

new age 296 (Photo credit: abcdlish)

Fin.

So I’m trying this new thing, where either I give a friend of mine an idea, then he draws something then I write, or I take a drawing of his that he already did, and write about it. Here’s the spectacular art.

Copyright Eric Meister 2013

Click on that bad boy to go to his Tumblr and see more artwork so that when he’s famous, you can say “I knew him when…from a blog from that famous writer that I knew back when.” It’s convoluted. Sorry.

This particular drawing reminds me a bit of a quote I read recently as well:

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”
― Rumi

Another good friend of mine directed me to some quotes from the English translations of that poet. She thought that it might give me a little insight into someone else who thinks a bit like I do, or I think like him. Whatever.

This little skeleton certainly doesn’t look too upset that he’s not a living person anymore, does he? His expression seems whimsical, and combining that with his stature makes me think that maybe he used to be a little boy. He doesn’t look very sad about previously being a little boy and currently being a skeleton because he’s accepting of the changes going on. He is excited for the new things that change will bring about. He has accepted that sorrow has swept out the house and he is waiting for new things to grow.

That’s why he doesn’t look sad. That’s why he’s waiting with his hand bones on his thigh bones. That’s why he looks so content next to that leaf that seems to contain more sadness in it’s cup-like shape that he does even though he’s no longer living.

How many of us can truly say that? How many of us, still living, with few cares in the world(relatively speaking of course) can say that we’ve accepted the sorrow and are ready for the positive change it has made room for? I certainly can’t.

I am not one to let things go. I have never been the kind of person who lets something like sorrow or anger fill me up and then let it all drain out. I am the kind of man who experiences his emotions deeply, and I try to process them. After that is all done, what is left is a processed, concentrated bit of that emotion. I bottle that concentrated sadness and that concentrated anger and that concentrated fear and I save it. I put a stopper in the bottle, and I label it, and I put it on the shelf. What happens to glass bottles when the shelf gets shaken? They crack and maybe leak a little.

Everyone is created by the events that occurred in their past. We are all formed, sculpted, cast, and forged by the events that make up our lives to this very point. Any time anything happens, it creates a point of divergence where any of the possible outcomes could have resulted in a change to the over product that is us. Some people let these moments flow through them. Some people keep that history in them as scars. Some people flow with those moments. I bottle those moments and their emotions, and when that foundation is shaken later on, some of them begin to seep back out.

It would all be so  much simpler if we could let our sorrow sweep us clean for the new things to grow. That takes leaving the doors and windows open for the wind to do the sweeping. It’s hard to leave yourself that open. Can you?

I’m On An Emotional Rollercoaster!

Sort of. Well kind of, but not really.

The Scenic Railway at Luna Park, Melbourne, is...

The Scenic Railway at Luna Park, Melbourne, is the world’s oldest continually-operating rollercoaster, built in 1912. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I guess what I mean is not that I’m super high and super low. I had a pretty awesome weekend. I needed a new computer, and seeing as Mi Padre is pretty good at working on computers it seemed logical to me to have him help me build one. So I drove to may parents early Saturday morning, and spent most of the day with them. Padre and I built damn near the fastest computer I’ve ever seen, and most definitely the fastest computer I’ve ever used. He was pretty excited to get to spend someone else’s money for a change, and I was pretty excited to make the jump from “usable, but not all the time” to “Fricking Light-Speed”. I also got to hang with my dad, which I don’t make enough time for.

So good weekend, a little busy with the driving and catching up on weekend chores when I got home. I was pretty tired last night and still pretty wiped out this morning when the ol’ alarm went off. As I got up and started migrating toward the shower, I stopped to grab clothing for the day. While trying to decide which shirt I cared enough about to drag off a hanger I realized, very suddenly, that I had to work late today and I had forgotten until now. 3 minutes after I stumbled out of bed. With one eyes still not open all the way. I was most certainly not awake enough to handle this information with the kind of emotional maturity expected of an adult.

So this particular realization pretty much destroyed the first hour of my morning. On the drive to work, I decided to put on a playlist that includes Jack Johnson, Jimmy Buffet, and Zac Brown Band. This is one of my go to playlists pretty much all year, even though it’s pretty Island-y. It enhances the sunny days like today, and brings some warmth to grey days in the dead of winter. Well apparently this was just what the doctor ordered today, because in short order I didn’t really care who was doing what today, I was down with whatever. So basically, my mood has been pretty fickle today. I can’t say what might happen with it the rest of the day, but I can say that the current mood-state is a bit unusual.

Unusual how? you might ask. Well, even though my mood being fickle isn’t exactly news to friends and family, what is a bit of a surprise is that it typically doesn’t trend in an upward fashion. Generally speaking, if you were to ask someone about my mood being fickle, I suspect the general response would be something close to “Well it doesn’t take much to put him in a bad mood, I know that.” So the fact that mostly involuntarily, my mood decided to take an upward swing is a bit of a surprise to everyone.

This just enforces my perception that revisiting writing here, talking with you guys, is really helping improve my overall quality of life. I tend to be a stubborn ,grumpy, brooding, emotionally charged person. I love being creative, but I rarely find an outlet valve for all that creative energy. Most of the time I just end up further frustrating myself by being unable to transmit the ideas bouncing around in the space between my ears in  a way I’m satisfied with. I know I haven’t been posting a lot of creative type pieces here, but I really think  being open to express myself and explore somethings in a public-type voice is improving a lot of aspects of my life.

So thanks guys!

Why do you guys write your blog, specifically as opposed to writing in another format? Do you also write someplace else? Where and why?