Other’s Creativity

Other people’s creativity is fascinating to me.

I’ve always been a creative person. It was just something that has manifested in different ways over the years. I’m still not entirely convinced that I’ve found the best outlet for it.

I always had an excellent imagination. I could pretend with the best of them. I had a cousin that was pretty good as well. She and I had a lot of good times.

I never had a lot of friends though. I always kind of found it hard to connect with other children. I wasn’t completely anti-social or anything, I just found that I would often prefer to read by myself, or play video games by myself. Those two things aren’t interesting to do with other people.

woman playing Duck Hunt video game, lightgun

woman playing Duck Hunt video game, lightgun (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have a few close friends now, and even more acquaintances that I see somewhat regularly. The people that end up close with me usually share a special something. Passion.

Passion for something. I have a great friend who is a crazy creative like me, a video game nut and and amazing artist. We both have a passion for creative works and good video games. I have another friend that exceptionally passionate about good food, the intricacies of American Football an Basketball, and it a great friend and family guy.

The point is, I don’t get close to a lot of people, but I’m still able to admire their creativity from afar. WordPress and Tumblr have made this even easier. Hooray Internet!

I can pretty much search for anything I want and find stories, drawings, and discussion about it. It’s truly amazing.

So Thank you. All you creatives who have carved out a little corner of the internet. you claim it as your own, but let us sometimes peek inside to see what you’ve been working on. Thank you.

Advertisements

Brains are Weird

Don’t deny it. Your brain is totally weird too.

Remember the other day, when I was talking about my creative slump? I mentioned that when I get busy is when I tend to be less creative and also less motivated. This has continued.

I sat down to write this morning, and I noticed that I’m not just out of ideas. It’s like my brain shuts down non-essential functions to save strength for the coming apocalypse of responsibility. When I am not actively thinking about something right now, my brain is an empty room. I’m not upset, or stressed, or bored. My brain is straight up empty.

storage unit

storage unit (Photo credit: hey skinny)

I’ve felt like I was empty of ideas or inspiration before, and this is different. When you are looking for a flash of inspiration, it’s like you’re digging through a box of junk in the attic/basement/garage. You know what you’re looking for is in there someplace, along with a bunch of crap you don’t need and never use but refuse to get rid of. You have a goal, and you’re reasonably certain about how to attain the aforementioned goal. Just keep looking through the box until you find it.

When I’m experiencing this level of low brain activity, it’s completely different. It’s like I don’t have an attic/basement/garage, a box or any stuff. I don’t know what I’m looking for, and I don’t have anything to look through anyway. So instead of mentally wandering into the storage space and taking some time to rummage around, I get tot the storage space and flip on the light, and there’s nothing. Then I forget why I went there in the first place. So I “Hmmph,” shut the light off and go sit down and wait for something to happen.

It’s an odd sensation to feel like you aren’t thinking anything. It results in a sort of detached feeling, similar to the time I talked about feeling like I was thinking at a different pace than I was existing. Not exactly the same though. It also can result in feeling anxious. When nothing is happening, and it’s like you’re preparing for something to happen, the waiting can cause some anxiety.

We’ll just have to see if it keeps up I suppose.

Creative Slump

I’m in a bit of a creative slump.

English: Modeling a volcano in Blender 3D.

English: Modeling a volcano in Blender 3D. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t had anything I’ve really been excited about working on in quite some time. Nothing has really been jumping out at me as anything that needs said/drawn/created. That tends to make me a little sad.

I kinda get in a funk about stuff. When I don’t have that interest in something or that drive to create, I feel like a sad kid sitting at the dinner table, staring at a plate full of vegetables.

Brain: It’s okay, I know you aren’t really hungry, but try your vegetables. I even cooked them with butter this time.

Non-Creative Self: I could I guess.(pokes at peas with fork. Rolls one from left to right and back again) I don’t really want them. Or anything else. I guess I’ll just sit here a while longer

Brain: Do you want me to make you other food?

Self: Don’t bother, I probably just won’t want to eat that either.

 

Okay, so the food analogy didn’t really work. Let’s just try again with creative stuff.

Brain: You maybe want to draw tonight?

Self: No. Not really. I don’t know what to draw. Besides, I’m not really that good a t drawing.

Brain: Okay, that’s cool. What about Photoshop? Or Blender! We could do some 3D modeling! That’s fun you like that!

Self: I guess. I need to relearn all the controls though. That would make the fun have to wait a while.

Brain: Um, alright. What about writing? Want to work on a story?

Self: Not really. I think I’ll just sit here and stare at the TV.

Brain: Are you sure? You usually don’t like to do that all the time.

Self: I guess I’m sure. I don’t know. I don’t care.

 

Yes these are things that happen inside my head. It just makes it more aggravating when I go to write a post here as well, because I know I’ll enjoy writing it, if I can just get moving on it.

Maybe I need to pick one thing, and make myself do that for a little bit everyday too. It’s been working really well for the writing, just not giving myself an option, and knowing that the act of writing is the reward at the moment. Now the question becomes: What do I focus on? What do I get the most personal satisfaction out of just doing?

I know these aren’t things I expect you guys to know. I’m not pushing the onus for answers on you guys. I get my best answers by thinking out loud, so I’m just kind of putting this all out there. Opinions are appreciated though.

Who’s There?

I can never quite seem to shake the feeling that I’m being watched. Constantly, eternally  under the watchful gaze of some greater being.

eye 172/365

eye 172/365 (Photo credit: attila acs)

Some being with power and guile. A being capable of accomplishing so much more in this great world, but instead watching me. Watching, waiting and learning.

It’s curious, you see. It wants to know all about me. It wants to know who I am, what I do and how I act.

I know all this sounds a bit odd, creepy, or even sinister. Sometimes it feels that way too. I can assure you that this being is in no way sinister. I know that it is not malicious the same way that I know it is always there. I don’t know exactly how to classify it, but a good way to think of it might be as the opposite of a Muse.

A Muse is that feeling or being or push that sparks that creativity inside your soul. It starts that process of creativity that can go so many different ways and result in so many different things. This being that I’m describing is like a mirror version of that.

This thing doesn’t drive me to create, It wants to learn from all that already is. It doesn’t seek to kindle that creative spirit, but rather observes everything as though it were trying to spark it’s own creativity.

It’s as if this entity needs me to feed it’s soul instead of the other way around. It isn’t taking from me, just feeding off of my experience. I can’t exactly do anything to help it out though. I think that the best thing that I can do is not disturb it.

As this being observes me, I think that I can allow it to work in peace. I will let it try to figure out exactly what it is hoping to come up with here.

If it decides to come closer for a chat, well I’ll be waiting.