Here a plan, there a plan…

I’ve been making a few plans recently.

A friend of mine has been encouraging my writing and other assorted personal growth items. She claims to be my Life Coach. I can’t really dispute that.

She has the luxury of being able to be brutally honest. We’re friends, and have been for over 10 years now. Not much that’s going to keep that from continuing. That being said, she can pretty much say what she feels and I will just have to deal with it.

Don’t get the wrong idea, she isn’t mean. What she is, is a straight shooter. Not just with me, but with everyone. I just happen to get the benefit of her caring about me, and using that ‘no bullshit’ attitude to my benefit.

She is a fantastic writer. So naturally, she’s the one I would talk to when I was interested in trying to be a better writer. She’s been giving me some things to work on. If you remember, I wrote a story a while back, published in five parts. She got to read it first. I got some good feedback there. One thing I carry around from my artistic background though, is that I kind of feel like a piece of writing exists on it’s own, as an example of when and how it was written. I’m not so good at the editing and re-writing portion of things.

I am working on some of those prompts and exercises. If I get anything out of them worth sharing, I will definitely put them up for people to take a look at.

Writing

Writing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Stream of Consciousness

I write how I think.

Writing the rest of #Wikipedia on a typewriter...

Writing the rest of #Wikipedia on a typewriter. KGB style (Photo credit: Jared Zimmerman)

I was having a conversation about writing style today in someone’s comments. (She’s excellent, you should stop by some time.) It got me thinking a little harder than normal about my own writing style.

I tend to write how I think. I also tend to think best out loud. So by default, I guess you could say that I write how I talk. I can see that. I think that it’s just the way that I settle into.

I write how I think because I want you reading it to feel like I’m doing this in a natural way. I’m not forcing a particular structure or anything on you. I’m not over editing what I have previously written. I just kind of start writing and see where the words take me.

That’s how I speak. That’s how I think. that’s how I am.

I just feel like I’m being the most honest and genuine person with you that I can be. Sometimes that results in strange and unfocused writing. Sorry about that. I’m a strange and unfocused person. When you come here to read what I’ve written, I like to think you’re getting an accurate sense of the real me. I’m not trying to give you an online persona to connect with.

I just got to thinking about it. Which then made me analyze my own writing style, which made me realize how much I enjoy just being myself here.

Feel free to stop back. Oh and tell your friends.

Music Man

Sometimes it’s the music.

Sometimes the music is what perfectly crystallizes your thoughts in to cohesive form. It can be difficult to isolate some of your feelings. Lots on information can sort of swirl together to create big cloud of confusion. You aren’t really sure what you’re feeling and thinking. That’s where the music comes in.

Music is verbal emotion blended with an embodiment of emotion. It’s pulses and thinks and feels like it’s own person. Of course, each piece of music has it’s own personality, that doesn’t change much from playthrough to playthrough. That’s what music is.

That’s part of why it speaks to us on that primal level that we can’t always identify. That’s why we have such strong emotions about it. That’s why we can’t always articulate our feelings or opinions about it.

Music digs within us and accesses a part of our being that we aren’t able to get to ourselves. We can’t talk about it or process some of those thoughts and emotions. It gets down to the part of us that just is.

That’s why sometimes it’s the music that suddenly seems to say what we couldn’t. It speaks to the world what we weren’t able to understand. It does it without our understanding or consent. That’s precisely why it’s so magical.

new age 296

new age 296 (Photo credit: abcdlish)

Escape

It’s spelled just like escape. Es cop ay…

Books, movies, stories, and video games all transport us somewhere. We all have certain ones we enjoy, and we all enjoy certain types. Our reasons are different and they are the same. Escape.

Whether it’s escape from the sadness and frustration of the everyday, or whether it’s just the only place you can be yourself. We all like to escape sometimes.

I feel out of place almost everywhere. There’s a lot of different reasons, but the important part is that I’m always  just a little off. Stories of all type let me have a place to be.

Sometimes I just get involved in those people’s world. Sometimes that’s enough. Other times I want to be involved and play a part in the story. That’s when I like to play games.

Never do I feel as at home as I do when reading a fantasy story. One of the great epics like “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The world is so alive and vibrant and I can’t help but be spellbound. That’s where I feel at home. When I’m spellbound by the tales of wonder and bravery.

Tolkien's Cover Designs for the First Edition ...

Tolkien’s Cover Designs for the First Edition of The Lord of the Rings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not scared to admit that I wish I were as strong as they are. I wish I were as upright and brave. I wish I were as steadfast, honorable and daring.

Most days I’m just a person. Moving through this modern world trying to keep from failing. People are built to push and strive, not avoid consequences. It’s a sad reality that these days, there are no great quests. Just trips to the coffee shop and saving money for a retirement that may never come.

One day I hope to have a real adventure. Maybe it will be when I’m Eleventy-One. Maybe it will be tomorrow. All I can do is wake up, get ready for the day, and open my door to the world.

This post is late, but it’s totally not.

It definitely is.

It’s just after midnight EST on what is now Saturday. This is highly disappointing. I should be writing on Friday.

I apologize. I’m sure no one was particularly upset. The goal is just to not miss a day unless something is out of my control. While that is sort of the case this time, I’m pretty sure that I could have found some time somewhere.

Now it’s late, and the post will be on Saturday. I don’t even really have a point to this post. I’ve been having a little luck recently with just kind of writing in a stream-of-consciousness form. Just sit down and see where the post goes.

It’s a natural extension of my regular writing process, and very close to how I think. I think in a very long chain of connections. I’m one of those people that you can be talking about eggs to, and I’ll tell you a story about a model rocket I built once. because you could put an egg in it.

Model rocket

Model rocket (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes when I write and speak I’m actually thinking too fast and my body can’t keep up. I will skip words when I write, and sometimes stutter a little when I get to talking to excitedly.

Well that one really took off. Again, sorry for the Saturday not Friday thing.

Creative Slump

I’m in a bit of a creative slump.

English: Modeling a volcano in Blender 3D.

English: Modeling a volcano in Blender 3D. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t had anything I’ve really been excited about working on in quite some time. Nothing has really been jumping out at me as anything that needs said/drawn/created. That tends to make me a little sad.

I kinda get in a funk about stuff. When I don’t have that interest in something or that drive to create, I feel like a sad kid sitting at the dinner table, staring at a plate full of vegetables.

Brain: It’s okay, I know you aren’t really hungry, but try your vegetables. I even cooked them with butter this time.

Non-Creative Self: I could I guess.(pokes at peas with fork. Rolls one from left to right and back again) I don’t really want them. Or anything else. I guess I’ll just sit here a while longer

Brain: Do you want me to make you other food?

Self: Don’t bother, I probably just won’t want to eat that either.

 

Okay, so the food analogy didn’t really work. Let’s just try again with creative stuff.

Brain: You maybe want to draw tonight?

Self: No. Not really. I don’t know what to draw. Besides, I’m not really that good a t drawing.

Brain: Okay, that’s cool. What about Photoshop? Or Blender! We could do some 3D modeling! That’s fun you like that!

Self: I guess. I need to relearn all the controls though. That would make the fun have to wait a while.

Brain: Um, alright. What about writing? Want to work on a story?

Self: Not really. I think I’ll just sit here and stare at the TV.

Brain: Are you sure? You usually don’t like to do that all the time.

Self: I guess I’m sure. I don’t know. I don’t care.

 

Yes these are things that happen inside my head. It just makes it more aggravating when I go to write a post here as well, because I know I’ll enjoy writing it, if I can just get moving on it.

Maybe I need to pick one thing, and make myself do that for a little bit everyday too. It’s been working really well for the writing, just not giving myself an option, and knowing that the act of writing is the reward at the moment. Now the question becomes: What do I focus on? What do I get the most personal satisfaction out of just doing?

I know these aren’t things I expect you guys to know. I’m not pushing the onus for answers on you guys. I get my best answers by thinking out loud, so I’m just kind of putting this all out there. Opinions are appreciated though.

Just over there…

I found out about a new-ish site today called Medium. I was introduced to it through Janelle. I signed up so that I could recommend her post, and I got an invite to write as well as read. I decided to go for it and be adventurous. Maybe get some writing in front of some new eyes.

It’s right over here:  https://medium.com/this-happened-to-me/393363655f54

It would be great if you wouldn’t mind taking a look there. Don’t feel obligated to sign up or anything, but I wouldn’t be upset about any recommendations over there. It’s kind of like one big blog with multiple writers and categories. No comments, but you can recommend or share.

Feel free to recommend there, or talk about it here on this post.

Thanks!

Typewriter

Typewriter (Photo credit: mikeymckay)