Well Hmmmm

Paradoxical feelings are…strange.

Paradox of Freedom: the fence

Paradox of Freedom: the fence (Photo credit: theilr)

I guess paradoxical is actually a pretty descriptive word for them. Having a feeling about something that is both exciting and maybe a little frustrating at the same time. It’s an odd combination.

I have the beginnings of an idea for something I want to write. It’s too delicate and new to be wholeheartedly excited about. I think it’s a good idea, but it needs some nurturing before I try to jump right in to it.

Hopefully I can get it to a point that I feel good really starting it in earnest. I think that it could be fun. It’s a little frustrating not being able to just move forward. I’m usually kind of impulsive with this sort of thing. I want to just push forward.

I know that that’s not the way to go. I suppose there’s something to be said for making the better choice, even though it isn’t exactly what you want to do.

I also know that I’m kind of rambling in the abstract right now. Sorry about that. If you’ve been around here before, you’ll know that being here is pretty close to being inside my head. You get what I’m thinking, how I’m thinking it.

Here’s hoping.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

Thoughts

Sometimes they swirl. A wild maelstrom of separate clouds, twisting and coiling in the circling winds.

Other times they bounce. Tiny bouncing seeds falling from great heights.

Often they flutter. Dancing on the breeze, flitting about in no discernible direction.

Occasionally they swim. Darting and turning in unison, in a school.

Rarely they are peaceful. Swaying in the breeze in a field.

They are never quiet.

 

English: Abstract art work

English: Abstract art work (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Enhanced by Zemanta

Patience

I find that it takes quite some time to recharge my patience meter.

English: A vintage ampere meter. Français : Un...

English: A vintage ampere meter. Français : Un Ampèremètre à l’ancienne. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I work in a place where I deal with the general public. I also happen to work with people who are opinionated and we don’t always share the same opinions. These two facts tend to result in some frustrating days for me.

I’m a generally affable and patient person. I really prefer to go with the flow more often than not. The trouble I run into, like many things in my life, is that my patience has a very large inertia.

It can sometime take a great deal to wear my patience thin. Once I’m frustrated, it can take an even longer time to get me back to even again. That is not a good combination most days.

It’s especially bad when I get busy with work and home things all at the same time. I never get a chance to get that patience reservoir refilled. When I’m constantly running on empty, every little thing sets me off. Which causes me to overreact, obviously.

I’m not actually frustrated at the moment. It was just something that had been floating around in my head. I’ve been working on finding stress reducers and finding time to get away for a little bit to leave everything in the rearview mirror long enough to get right again. I have found that getting away from my everyday surroundings makes a big difference for me.

I’m off to find one of those stress relieving activities as we speak!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Divination

Do you ever wish that you could know the future?

I was talking with a friend the other day, and we were discussing the nature of divination. Is it possible to know the future? How would that happen? Would you even want to?

My personal feelings about it happened to be that I wish I had an oracle or cards I could ask about the nature of choices I make. I wasn’t as worried about detailed answers about the exact trajectory of my life. I just wanted to remove some of the uncertainty from decisions I make. That kind of uncertainty that frequently keeps me from making any decision, or worrying incessantly about ones I’ve made or am making.

I believe in a loose version of Destiny or Fate. I think that generally, things happen for a reason. I don’t think we’re all part of some intricately detailed, finely mapped out plan. I don’t believe that we’re all tiny cogs in one enormous machine, clicking and whirring together in perfect precision.

I think we’re more like an ever evolving sculpture. Decisions are made, things happen and there is intent behind them. They may not result in what we were hoping for. Further changes are necessary. I think all events are intertwined, but exactly how is a mystery to us all.

Magic 8 Ball

Magic 8 Ball (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What I would really like is to be able to ask questions like ‘If I buy this car, will it financially hamper me for the next few years? Or will things work out just fine?’ The answer could be simply, ‘Now isn’t the best time for that purchase.’ I would be content with that. Almost like a ‘Magic 8 Ball’ that was actually prescient.

That’s the kind of divination I would be really interested in. There’s much fear in the uncertainty of life. For some of us, that fear can be crippling to the point of physical pain. Some of us are so concerned about making the wrong choice that every decision becomes rife with pitfalls, and any choice is a bad choice.

Of course, I’m a big fan of magic and wouldn’t really object to full-fledged seers either.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Ski Trip!

Well, I was going to post this yesterday, until I got sleepy. So you get it today instead!

English: Snowboarding in New Brunswick, Canada

English: Snowboarding in New Brunswick, Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This last weekend was my second time going on an annual ski trip. The trip has been going on for a fair number of years, but The Wife and I have only gone twice now. It has been a blast both times.

I’m not really a ‘do-er’. I tend to be more comfortable wearing a divot in the couch than I am getting out and doing things. I’m ok with this most of the time. I enjoy staying comfy and cozy indoors, so I see no trouble with this. It occasionally becomes a point of contention with The Wife.

She likes to do stuff. She likes to see what’s happening, to be involved and to get up and go. She likes to do things with other people and generally have a good time. Sometimes me being a sofa spud can get frustrating. I think it’s a good thing that we both really enjoy skiing/snowboarding.

That said, she enjoys the skiing, and I prefer the snowboarding. I believe I have mentioned it before, but I have a pre-existing medical condition with my left hip. Skiing contains the potential for my two legs to end up going different directions, and I suspect that would end worse for me than for some others. I chose snowboarding, where my two feet are stuck to the same object.

We went last year, and while we were there we took a group lesson. We didn’t get to spend a lot of time out and about practicing last year, partly because day 2 was very icy. We started this year on our own, and quickly found that we needed more guidance. We went ahead an got private lessons.

It ended up outstanding. We both picked up enough of the basics in our lessons to feel comfortable going out on our own. We went out for a few hours each day on Saturday and Sunday. We came home on Monday.

It’s a great little break in the middle of our winter. It’s a mini-vacation! I’m really looking forward to next year already, and maybe we’ll even get to go someplace nearby and get some practice in.

We may also have to look into getting our own equipment. If we keep going, renting will get expensive soon!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sorry

I’m not going to be able to put anything together today.

I know I kind of already have the topic picked, but I’m just not able to get anything done with it. I’m already dozing off while sitting around this evening.

I have a bit of a cold, but I really didn’t think it was bad. After eating dinner and then dozing afterwards, I think I might have been mistaken.

Sorry again, I’ll be sure to keep this in mind for tomorrow.

Quick Update

Sorry for missing you yesterday.

 

English: Gentaur schedule

English: Gentaur schedule (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wasn’t able to stop by yesterday for a couple of reasons. The first and most important was that I was out of town all weekend. The second is that because I was out of town all weekend, including yesterday, I am a little off my schedule.

 

I ended up with a 3 day weekend this last weekend. I left home on Friday morning, and went out of town straight from work. I didn’t get home until about 4 pm yesterday. So I am just now getting back in a normal rhythm.

 

I’ll go into a little more detail tomorrow, but I was snowboarding this weekend. A little winter holiday if you will. Have no fear, I’m fine.

 

Until tomorrow, with the whole recap! See you then.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta