Guy on the outside

I just read a wonderfully prescient post over on Sass & Balderdash.

You should go read that, so that you have a baseline for where I’m going.

I’ll wait here…

Glad to see you back. It was a wonderful post, was it not?

I feel like I have a lot of experiences that involve these ‘Chamomile Characters.’ I don’t always mean to be the person on the outside of popular pinions like that, but I tend to form my opinion quickly. I let it be until something happens to change it.

I like to think of myself as open minded. I try to be an accepting person, and I try not to let my opinions on one thing cloud my overall opinion of a person. I try to be friendly, because I like open and friendly people and I would like to be one.

There’s a caveat here. I also tend to make quick judgements,  and then proceed to see these through until I have cause to change them. Let me give you an example of one that always gets me strange looks: I don’t really like The Beatles. I like a few of their songs, I respect them as musicians and artists, and I acknowledge there huge contributions to the music world. Still don’t really want to listen to them.

The Beatles (No. 1)

The Beatles (No. 1) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I will still give a song of theirs a chance if I’ve never heard it, or if someone tells me to listen for something specific. I have no problem giving something of theirs a listen. I probably will not agree with you if you just tell me that ‘The Beatles are the greatest and everyone should love them.’ Nope. Not convincing.

Sometimes I think that my tendency to make these snap decisions limits my experience of the world. I suppose with things like music, books, and movies, as long as I am open to giving them another shot I’m not really missing out on anything. People might be a different story.

I do sometimes make those same snap judgements about people. It’s a lot like Sass & Balderdash said: I just kind of decide that I’m not a fan. I’m content to not really interact with them. I’m okay with being like that, as I feel like it makes my life simpler. Other people do not always agree.

I usually run into problems when it’s someone that I have to see on a regular basis or on major holidays or something. I get some disapproving looks when I mention that I am indifferent about spending time with that person. Maybe I even indicate that I’d rather not if given thew choice. If I’m not given the choice, I try really hard to make the best of it. I go do whatever is on the agenda and I try to have friendly conversation while I’m there.

I try to give those people a second chance as well. Especially when someone gives me a good reason to. It doesn’t always work out though. That’s when I begin to wonder if I’m some sort of anti-social hermit. Everyone else seems to do okay, why am I the one that seems to dislike the people no one else seems to mind?

According to Sass & Balderdash, I’m not as crazy and Hermit-like as I thought.

 

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6 thoughts on “Guy on the outside

  1. That or we’re both as crazy and Hermit-like as we both thought…

    I don’t see any harm in admitting to yourself or your inner circle that you don’t like someone/something. It’s ridiculous how “don’t like” is so easily misinterpreted as this weird all-consuming hatred that makes people uncomfortable to think about. I just don’t like this person–it’s totally personal, but it’s not a big deal.

    By the way, my mom is with you on The Beatles.

    • No way. No one is EVER with me on The Beatles.
      Absolutely. There are several steps between ‘Like’ and ‘Don’t Like’. There is a lot of neutrality there. As it’s completely opinion based, it can even fluctuate. It’s like people forget that they also have opinions that are very diverse on a number of things.

    • The trouble with being human some days, is that the rest of the humans forget that they’re also human. This Facebook and Twitter digital world has led everyone to a place where their opinions are facts and everything is black and white. It’s less about having conversations with others who share your point of view, and more about finding a place to criticize those who don’t.

      • We’ll figure it out eventually. The digital world hasn’t been around long enough for us to integrate it into our lives as oppose to replacing our lives with it. It took a few decades before we came up with using the air force and the infantry together in battle.

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