I realized yesterday and today that I had been feeling a little… Off.
I think I figured out what ‘s causing the slightly off kilter feeling. I feel like i’m a little out of sync with myself. It’s almost as if I’m living inside my own brain and watching myself go through the motions.
I don’t mean this as a big complaining, or whining post. I don’t mean this as a large-scale existential examination of my life as a whole. I just mean, that I’m going about my everyday life, and my mind seems to just be a little out of sync with everything.
I feel like I’m waiting for something, or I missed something. I feel like even though everything is moving and functioning properly that I’m not part of that. I feel like I’m not existing in the same instance as everything around me.
It isn’t creepy, or frustrating as much as it is just unsettling. When you feel like you aren’t moving at the same speed as everything else, or in the same space as everything, it’s hard to feel grounded. It’s hard to feel like a part of what’s happening in your own world. That just tends to make one a little uncomfortable.
I’m sure that like everything else, this will eventually snap back to feeling okay. I probably won’t actually notice when it happens. I wonder what it would feel like if this sensation were magnified?
What would it be like for me to go through an entire day, or week even, feeling less like a whole human being and more like a creepy brain-creature controlling a human-shaped biological robot? Would it create a serious disconnect between myself and other people? Would I start treating them like creepy brain-creatures? Would I be able to go back to living as a singular entity? Would I want to?
Maybe I’ve achieved a higher level of consciousness. Maybe I’m just nuts. Maybe this is further evidence of my whole Genius Theory. Maybe I’m an Alien!
I’m going to guess it’s probably half and half higher consciousness, and nuts.
Could be worse.
Have you ever felt this way? Tell me about it!