I’m feeling especially rebellious today. Unfortunately, it’s not rebellious in a cool, Fonzie-like way. It’s rebellious in that you-can’t-make-me-take-a-bath-if-you-can’t-catch-me way. I fear this is something I will be passing down to my children in the future.
It’s going to sound stupid, petulant and childish but would you expect much else from me? I just don’t want to mow my grass tonight. I hate mowing the lawn. Especially when for reasons somewhat outside my control, it has gotten too long and it’s going to be a pain in the ass to slog through it tonight. I could bag it, but this early in the year it’s growing so fast that I feel like it’s better for the grass to feed on it’s recently shredded brethren. I think I’m growing cannibal grass you guys. Is it wrong that I find the idea of training my grass to feed on nothing but other grass to be a motivator? Probably.
I’m just being stubborn. It’s not that big of a deal. It only takes an hour and it isn’t going to even be hot tonight. Such it the tortured life a mostly-responsible adult.
Back to this concept of my innately ruining my future children. I’m really kind of pondering this now. I mean, I know I am not a model human being. I’m ok. I don’t frequently find myself in trouble with the local 5-0, or have any lawyers on speed dial. I do wonder what parenting will be like.
If there’s one thing I have faith in myself to do properly, it’s be a parent. I always have. I am not a constant worrier that I will somehow ruin my future children’s lives with one small error or anything like that. Sometimes, I do wonder if I will pass on to them the worst parts of my personality.
You know how people who know you really well can see all those tiny little traits in kids that just make them say “Totally your kid. No way it could belong to anyone else”? I just don’t want My Spawn to be identified by things that I view as negatives about my personality.
I tend to stay indoors. I have occasionally attempted to locate a cave that has television and internet in it. I like the dark. I sometimes(always) tend to exist in a natural state of Hermit-tude. The best example I can give you is if I were left to my own devices, I would get up, stumble groggily to the coffee pot, make coffee, wander to my desk, plop in front of the computer in the dark and not move until I needed food or coffee. This is my natural state. It drives The Wife crazy sometimes.
I don’t hate this about myself, but I do want My Spawn to be well-rounded mini-people and I want them to be able to enjoy being outside. I don’t want them to fear the light like some nocturnal beastie. I hope that this isn’t genetic. I suspect it’s not, because I believe my dark-dwelling to be a product of my formative years with my babysitter the TV(kind of a long story, probably needs it’s own post), and my lack of ability to participate in normal kid activities that involve movement due to a medical issue(not a secret, just a long story. Also different post.)
I also tend to be a bit anti-social. I really like Sherlock Holmes’ description in the BBC show “Sherlock“: “[with contempt] I’m not a psychopath, Anderson, I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.” I don’t know if it applies to me, per se, but that’s kinda how I feel some days. Again, I’m fine with this but I’d rather My Offspring work well with others and not avoid other people.
So I suppose I’m not so much worried about how The Mini-People will turn out, as much as I’m curious to see if I Can encourage them to make better choice than I sometimes do. I should direct them to 450 Good Choices so they can see how much difference a few good choices at a time can make.
So this one was kinda all over. Let’s go with: What triggers your rebellious moments?