I’m an Adult! I’ll Act Like a Child if I Want to!

Fonzie

Fonzie (Photo credit: anneh632)

I’m feeling especially rebellious today. Unfortunately, it’s not rebellious in a cool, Fonzie-like way. It’s rebellious in that you-can’t-make-me-take-a-bath-if-you-can’t-catch-me way. I fear this is something I will be passing down to my children in the future.

It’s going to sound stupid, petulant and childish but would you expect much else from me? I just don’t want to mow my grass tonight. I hate mowing the lawn. Especially when for reasons somewhat outside my control, it has gotten too long and it’s going to be a pain in the ass to slog through it tonight. I could bag it, but this early in the year it’s growing so fast that I feel like it’s better for the grass to feed on it’s recently shredded brethren. I think I’m growing cannibal grass you guys. Is it wrong that I find the idea of training my grass to feed on nothing but other grass to be a motivator? Probably.

I’m just being stubborn. It’s not that big of a deal. It only takes an hour and it isn’t going to even be hot tonight. Such it the tortured life a mostly-responsible adult.

Back to this concept of my innately ruining my future children. I’m really kind of pondering this now. I mean, I know I am not a model human being. I’m ok. I don’t frequently find myself in trouble with the local 5-0, or have any lawyers on speed dial. I do wonder what parenting will be like.

If there’s one thing I have faith in myself to do properly, it’s be a parent. I always have. I am not a constant worrier that I will somehow ruin my future children’s lives with one small error or anything like that. Sometimes, I do wonder if I will pass on to them the worst parts of my personality.

You know how people who know you really well can see all those tiny little traits in kids that just make them say “Totally your kid. No way it could belong to anyone else”? I just don’t want My Spawn to be identified by things that I view as negatives about my personality.

I tend to stay indoors. I have occasionally attempted to locate a cave that has television and internet in it. I like the dark. I sometimes(always) tend to exist in a natural state of Hermit-tude. The best example I can give you is if I were left to my own devices, I would get up, stumble groggily to the coffee pot, make coffee, wander to my desk, plop in front of the computer in the dark and not move until I needed food or coffee. This is my natural state. It drives The Wife crazy sometimes.

I don’t hate this about myself, but I do want My Spawn to be well-rounded mini-people and I want them to be able to enjoy being outside. I don’t want them to fear the light like some nocturnal beastie. I hope that this isn’t genetic. I suspect it’s not, because I believe my dark-dwelling to be a product of my formative years with my babysitter the TV(kind of a long story, probably needs it’s own post), and my lack of ability to participate in normal kid activities that involve movement due to a medical issue(not a secret, just a long story. Also different post.)

I also tend to be a bit anti-social. I really like Sherlock Holmes’ description in the BBC show “Sherlock“: “[with contempt] I’m not a psychopath, Anderson, I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.” I don’t know if it applies to me, per se, but that’s kinda how I feel some days. Again, I’m fine with this but I’d rather My Offspring work well with others and not avoid other people.

So I suppose I’m not so much worried about how The Mini-People will turn out, as much as I’m curious to see if I Can encourage them to make better choice than I sometimes do. I should direct them to 450 Good Choices so they can see how much difference a few good choices at a time can make.

So this one was kinda all over. Let’s go with: What triggers your rebellious moments?

[HEADDESK]

It has been one of those days.

One of those days where every time you turn around, something else pops up for you to do. You know, before you finished that last thing?

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “So? Sounds like a nice busy day to make work go quickly. I don’t see the issue here.” To this I respond: HORSEAPPLES!

Actually, I’m pretty jealous of people that can just handle every new thing that flies at them with grace, style and aplomb. I am not one of those people. The time something requires to be completed does not directly correspond with the amount of time it occupies my capacity for working effectively.

Imagine an old computer that you’re trying to print from: You click Print, and the little progress bar pops up. Then you wait for it to scroll across, which takes forever, and when it’s almost done the printer spits out your document. The thing is, the little progress bar never quite finished, and now the computer is locked up and you can’t get it to do anything. This is how my brain works.

A new progress bar 90%

A new progress bar 90% (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I get a lot of things that get thrown at me, without the ability/time to think and prioritize I kind of shut down a little. It ends up being a bit worse because I tend to have a pretty short temper. Oops. I should meditate or something. Get centered, Zen like.

All that aside, I REFUSED to let that be something that would keep me from writing/chatting with all of you today. That’s what this is for me; It’s an open conversation with wonderful people. So y’all are making me feel better. Even though I technically have my part of the conversation by myself and there’s no way for any of you to answer until I click ‘Publish’. Well this just got awkward, I just pointed out to myself and you, that I’m basically taking to myself and pretending you can hear me right now. I know you can hear me later, but not while I’m actually typing… Ok and now we’re in another weird time-stream thing where the reality of what I’m saying exists in present for me, and in my future it will exist in your present. I should stop I’m starting to get vertigo.

Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays, huh? I vote we make Monday the official start of the week, but it’s totally cool if you want to treat it like an extra weekend day. Then if you have stuff to do or need the cash, you can come to work and get paid. If you just need one more day, no one is gonna call and give you crap over it.

If only I were in charge of everything….  I’d probably spaz out and not be able to handle the responsibility.

How much better than me do you handle multiple responsibilities flying at your head?

Old! Old and decrepit!

Happy Birfday!

Happy Birfday! (Photo credit: bryan champ)

I’m running low on particularly insightful ideas today. Not knowing what I was talking about never stopped me talking before, so I’m writing anyway!

Since I typically take the weekends off from posting, unless some crazy super awesome thing happens, I feel I should let you know today: Sunday is mah Birfday!

The Big 2-8! Wait, that’s not an important one is it? Oh well.

I know that in the grand scheme of things 28 isn’t really THAT old. I am starting to understand why everyone was always complaining about how old they felt when I was younger though. As you start to get older and you begin to settle into a routine, it can sometimes seem like everyday is the same. Some days you just feel like you’ve got not enough time and too much time, all at the same time.

There are never enough hours in the day to get everything done, but then you turn around and 3 months have gone by. It’s a weird time-stasis-y thing. It’s almost like we’re all living in some crazy hyper-sleep where everything works at dream speed. Maybe The Matrix is real.

Whatever it is that causes it, I just know it can be a little disheartening. These days there is so much going on in the world, and there is so much that you’re expected to balance. I don’t even have any mini-me’s running around yet, God help me once I do. It’s just unfortunate that the pace of life doesn’t lend itself to being able to get what you need done with time to do what you really enjoy.

I know some people are able to find that balance, but as per usual I move a little slower than some. I do have to say that having this blog is quite useful. Being able to just kind of think out loud and occasionally get input for readers is a good place for me to be. Some of my friends know how inside my own head I can get, and this place is kind of my outlet. It’s like group therapy where I never have to give up the talking stick, and the group leader is busy stuffing his/her face with donuts and coffee and isn’t interrupting with “But how does that make you FEEL?” all the time.

So thanks to all of you, Happy Birfday Weekend to me, and try to remember to take some time for you this weekend. I plan to try to take a few minutes here and there to just kind of center myself.

Any suggestions? Other than blogging, because, seriously? That one is totally obvious.

The Sunshine Award

sunshine-award1

Well this is unexpected. First I would like to thank my nominator KiraLynBlue. I’m so happy to have brought so sun to- Turn that music off. I swear. I’m NOT DONE YET HOW DARE YOU MUSIC ME!!! I’LL-

Sorry about that. Moving on.

This is seriously awesome. Thanks to all of you, Nominator and Nominated.

The Sunshine Award a recognition from fellow bloggers to those who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere.

Here are the rules:
  • Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog.
  • Link to the person who nominated you.
  • Answer 10 questions about yourself.
  • Nominate 10 bloggers.
  • Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated.
And now for the 10 questions:

Favorite color: Blue. Probably dark blue the best.

Favorite animal: Tie between turtles and penguins.

Favorite number: 13 It’s got to be lucky for someone, right?

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Sweet Tea. Real southern Sweet Tea. Even though I don’t live in the south.

Favorite alcoholic drink: Whiskey. Lots of brands. They all have their pros and cons.

Facebook or Twitter?: The Tweeter. I despise Facebook and all it stands for. Though this here WordPress community is making me feel right at home.

My passions: Philosophy, reading, intelligent discussion and humor.

Prefer getting or giving presents?: Getting, except when I feel like I really nailed the present situation, and then I get really antsy to see how they like it.

Favorite City: Chicago, IL

Favorite TV Shows: Dr. Who, Being Human (US version), Arrested Development. New Girl. Lots of shows, too many to name.

My nominations:
  1. 450 Good Choices – These ladies are making healthy life choices and making me fall out of my chair laughing along the way.
  2. Bon Bons & Martinis – For being the one who talked me into starting a blog in the first place and telling me what I don’t want to hear.
  3. Well Strike Me Down With a Ham Sandwich – For having stories that just draw me in, even when they’re about A level Physics that I don’t understand.
  4. sitdownatatypewriterandbleed – For being unafraid to bare her soul to us.
  5. Second Lunch – An unequivocally funny look at everyday life.
  6. Kristen Lamb For sharing critical insight about writing from “inside the biz”
  7. postalpaperphile – For making hand written letters and envelopes into art.
  8. #CrippleProbs – For being the absolute definition of blunt.
  9. Kloipy – Wonderful pictures and a unique voice.
  10. The Quick, Not The Dead – carefully crafted, honest perception.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

In lieu of writing today, you get see my impulsive nature in all it’s glory.

The Ladies over at 450 Good Choices challenged me to take a few photos. I have taken those photos. I think they thought that I would be leery of embarrassing myself. I am not. If you had spoken with our mutual acquaintance Erica, you might have realized the error of your ways.

Swim Gear 1 Swim Gear 2Swim Gear 3Swim Gear 4Your Move Ladies.

Character Intro

FICTION INCOMING!

Just so you knew. In case it makes a difference to you one way or another.

I heard her talking. I was more interested in the steam rising from my second cup of coffee. The steam was rising  in a nice tight spiral this morning. That was usually a sign that it was going to be a good day. I could use a good day, I’ve had way too many days recently where I wanted to tear my own skin off.

“Alistair!”
“Yes, Rose?”
“I asked you if we were still having dinner with Mr. Ellis tomorrow? If we are, where are we going so I know what to wear?”
“Of course we’re still having dinner with him. I wouldn’t have any shops without him, much less be opening a fifth next week,” I replied calmly. “We’re going to the Mirror Room. Go buy a new dress today. You always look pretty in a new dress.”
“Ooo!” She squealed. “I was hoping I might be able to get a new dress! What color should I get?”
“Green. It makes your eyes look like the two biggest emeralds I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh Ali! Thank you! I’m going to go call Evie and start planning right now!” She hurried off to call her friend.
“Don’t call me Ali!” I shouted after her. “But I’ve told you that before, and you didn’t listen any of those times either.”

I couldn’t tell Rose this, but I was actually excited to see what dress she came up with. She looked beautiful in everything, but she always dressed her best when I asked her to go to a business dinner with me. She knew they were important to me, and that looking the part of a wealthy shop owner was half the battle. Rose wasn’t stupid either. A beautiful girl at the table always put the businessmen in a better mood. She would never admit to knowing any of this.

There’s a great deal that goes unspoken between us, but it’s comforting to always be completely assured that I know what she’s thinking. It’s something I noticed when I first met Rose. I could finish any sentence of hers, and I could always tell you what she was thinking down to the word. That’s not as boring as it sounds, mind you. There’s a special feeling you get knowing a person so completely that you never have to wonder what they’re thinking or doing.

I finished my coffee and stood up. I needed to go find accents for my suit that would properly fit next to a beautiful woman in a beautiful, expensive, green dress.

I’m On An Emotional Rollercoaster!

Sort of. Well kind of, but not really.

The Scenic Railway at Luna Park, Melbourne, is...

The Scenic Railway at Luna Park, Melbourne, is the world’s oldest continually-operating rollercoaster, built in 1912. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I guess what I mean is not that I’m super high and super low. I had a pretty awesome weekend. I needed a new computer, and seeing as Mi Padre is pretty good at working on computers it seemed logical to me to have him help me build one. So I drove to may parents early Saturday morning, and spent most of the day with them. Padre and I built damn near the fastest computer I’ve ever seen, and most definitely the fastest computer I’ve ever used. He was pretty excited to get to spend someone else’s money for a change, and I was pretty excited to make the jump from “usable, but not all the time” to “Fricking Light-Speed”. I also got to hang with my dad, which I don’t make enough time for.

So good weekend, a little busy with the driving and catching up on weekend chores when I got home. I was pretty tired last night and still pretty wiped out this morning when the ol’ alarm went off. As I got up and started migrating toward the shower, I stopped to grab clothing for the day. While trying to decide which shirt I cared enough about to drag off a hanger I realized, very suddenly, that I had to work late today and I had forgotten until now. 3 minutes after I stumbled out of bed. With one eyes still not open all the way. I was most certainly not awake enough to handle this information with the kind of emotional maturity expected of an adult.

So this particular realization pretty much destroyed the first hour of my morning. On the drive to work, I decided to put on a playlist that includes Jack Johnson, Jimmy Buffet, and Zac Brown Band. This is one of my go to playlists pretty much all year, even though it’s pretty Island-y. It enhances the sunny days like today, and brings some warmth to grey days in the dead of winter. Well apparently this was just what the doctor ordered today, because in short order I didn’t really care who was doing what today, I was down with whatever. So basically, my mood has been pretty fickle today. I can’t say what might happen with it the rest of the day, but I can say that the current mood-state is a bit unusual.

Unusual how? you might ask. Well, even though my mood being fickle isn’t exactly news to friends and family, what is a bit of a surprise is that it typically doesn’t trend in an upward fashion. Generally speaking, if you were to ask someone about my mood being fickle, I suspect the general response would be something close to “Well it doesn’t take much to put him in a bad mood, I know that.” So the fact that mostly involuntarily, my mood decided to take an upward swing is a bit of a surprise to everyone.

This just enforces my perception that revisiting writing here, talking with you guys, is really helping improve my overall quality of life. I tend to be a stubborn ,grumpy, brooding, emotionally charged person. I love being creative, but I rarely find an outlet valve for all that creative energy. Most of the time I just end up further frustrating myself by being unable to transmit the ideas bouncing around in the space between my ears in  a way I’m satisfied with. I know I haven’t been posting a lot of creative type pieces here, but I really think  being open to express myself and explore somethings in a public-type voice is improving a lot of aspects of my life.

So thanks guys!

Why do you guys write your blog, specifically as opposed to writing in another format? Do you also write someplace else? Where and why?

Over-think this!

I’m an over-thinker. It’s one of those things that I can’t really control sometimes.

Cover of "What If? Classic Vol. 1 (Marvel...

Cover of What If? Classic Vol. 1 (Marvel Heroes)

Since I tend to focus on the negative,(I’m working on it, chill) what ends up happening is my brain goes to a “Worst Case Scenario” kind of place, and runs with some pretty terrible ideas. I’ve read that Humans are the only species to not only focus on “What-If” type scenarios, but that our minds can’t distinguish between the thoughts of it happening and the actual experiences of it happening. This results in people(me especially) creating situations in which we’re as stressed out by the concept of something bad happening to us as we would be if it actually happened. I don’t have to experience, let’s say loosing my job, to know about the level of mental distress it would cause. I only have to sit down and think really hard about what would happen.

Since I am a freaking PRO at this, I sometimes get myself in an overwhelmingly negative place based on nothing more that speculation. I also tend to be a little hyperactive so my brain kinda starts making serious leaps of logic.

Here’s a for instance: I have a really bad day at work. So I start to think about how I want to get a different job. Well then I think how hard it is for me to look at job listings and get information sent out around work. So I decide it would be better if I quit my job first. Then I would have lots of time to apply other places. Unfortunately, that means I’m not bringing any money in. Then we would be hurting for money. What if I couldn’t find anything else? What if even fast food places and restaurants aren’t hiring? How many months could we go? Would I be able to get my old job back? Then they would resent me for trying to leave in the first place. The Wife would be disappointed that I had to go back to my old job. She would never see me as capable of providing for us. She would see me as a terrible husband.

That was just a small for instance, but you see how it gets out of hand quickly inside my head? The end thought that I get stuck with and start focusing on there is: I’m not a capable provider and a bad husband. The Wife could do better. That’s a really destructive and negative place to be stuck. I don’t want to be thinking that, and it’s a pretty long way removed from the original “Work sucked today”.

The problem is that while that sort of thought process doesn’t happen all the time, it’s a pretty quick decent to a pretty dark place. It can happen with any thought at any time, but since I sometimes lean towards being a little more negative it happens with negative emotions a little more frequently.

I’m not actually feeling like this about anything right at the moment. My recent writing renaissance has helped me quite a bit in that regard, I feel. I just happened to be pondering this morning about this here blog and I felt like I needed to explore my negative over-thinking a little bit.

Is this something the rest of you do? Did you know that Human beings are the only species that can’t emotionally distinguish between thoughts and experiences?

I’m Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today!

Do you ever feel like you exist in the wrong place/time/world?

Weird question, I know, but it’s born from a thought that I’ve occasionally had. Sometimes I wonder if I was born in the wrong place and/or time. It’s not as if I’m so supremely unhappy with where I am that I feel anywhere else must be better. It’s more like a nagging feeling that some of my little habits and quirks would be better suited in a different environment.

For instance, I tend to be a kind of ‘old-fashioned’ guy when it comes to the male female relationship. Not in the “men’s work/women’s work” kind of way, more like in a social interaction way. I feel like both genders have responsibilities to the other in most social situations. Being as I’m male, I’m much more familiar with the male set of responsibilities, but there are a few of the ladies’ ones that I feel comfortable mentioning.

For example, I feel like at any practical opportunity, it is my responsibility to hold the door for ladies present. Definitely where The Wife is concerned, but also for any females close enough to the door that holding it open isn’t forcing them to jog to get there. This is a personal feeling of responsibility. It’s something I feel that I should do when possible. When in an unfamiliar city or area, I feel that the safety of all present is at least partly my responsibility, based on who else is around. If I’m only the 3rd biggest dude, then not quite as much as when it’s me and 4 girls.

I also understand that some ladies might feel like this is a quaint, old-fashioned notion and would prefer if I not act as if they can’t open a door for themselves. All I ask of the lady in this situation is to let me know as politely as possible and I will do my best to honor your wishes. Something like “I appreciate you opening the door for me, but I would prefer to open it myself in the future.” I have no problems with that.

Gentleman wearing bowler hat and three-piece suit

Gentleman wearing bowler hat and three-piece suit (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s not just my old-timey social cues that make me feel out of place form time to time. I LOVE wearing a nice suit. I’m not afraid to tell you that I can pick a suit, shirt and tie and I look good. I might appreciate living in a time where a suit is the norm, as is a hat and walking stick.

I also have a strange fascination with British English. Not only do I find the accent charming, I think that a majority of the time the phrasing makes more logical sense than American English. Let’s be honest, we have turned American English into a monstrosity of a language. It’s so difficult to comprehend from a logical standpoint, that it’s ridiculously hard to learn as a second language. It just doesn’t make sense! We’re not doing ourselves any favors with the neglect we show grammar in schools either.

Who knows, maybe I just romanticize these things because I find them interesting. Maybe I really do look that good in a suit(Hint: I do). It does make me wonder how I would fare in a different place and time though.

What about you? Ever have aquirk that seems like it would fit in better elsewhere?

Hello? It’s Me Again Margaret…

Super extra special bonus points AND a gold star if you get the title reference. Also, If you do get the title reference please let me know in the comments, because I want to know that other people share my odd enjoyment.

So the Daily Prompt was an unknown phone call.

That didn’t really do much for me in and of itself, but it did get me thinking about phone calls. Which then randomly crossed streams (Don’t cross the streams. It would be bad.) with my previous post referencing Time Travel. Those two things randomly mutated into the following idea: What if you had a phone that could call anyone, anytime, whether they had a phone or not and it could translate for you?

So basically, you could talk to any person from any time period. No changing history here, but you would have unlimited access to the information contained within anyone’s head. Well, assuming they can communicate it in such a way that it makes sense to you. I have to imagine a random person calling Albert Einstein might have a little trouble understanding some of the physics-speak that he is likely to be spouting off.

Information Central

Information Central (Photo credit: pjern)

For someone like me, this is hitting the information jackpot. I’m talking Jed Clampett  finding oil in his backyard level of excitement here. You see, I’m kinda of an information/trivia nerd. I get a small bit of interest in a subject and then I spend 3 days voraciously devouring every pertinent scrap of information I can locate on the World Wide Web about whatever that happens to be. Now I’m not an academic, so I’m usually not particularly concerned with source quality here. Usually I start on Wikipedia and just go where the winds of stupidly useless trivial information take me.

So what this Time Phone(Copyright all mine. Patent pending, whatever else legal mumbo jumbo means this idea is MINE for whenever it does exist)means to someone like me, is that I can basically reference the original source for ANYTHING. If I happen to be reading about the paintings of Vincent Van Gogh, I can call that crazy Dutchman up and ask him about his painting style and how it relates to the way he chose to paint The Starry Night.

I’m thinking that I wouldn’t get much working or living done, ever. I would just sit around finding interesting things to research. Then I would research everything I could and call anyone that I needed more information from! I could call Piet Mondrian and ask him what the hell he was thinking painting all those stupid rectangles and lines and calling it art. I could call Leonardo Da Vinci up and ask him why he was so crazy/forward-thinking at the same time.

Those are just the applications for calling the past. I could call the future and find out if we still drive our own cars. I could call future kids and ask them if I was a terrible parent or not. Really, the possibilities here are endless.

Well I told you what I would do, what would you guys do with a Time Phone(My idea!)? Who would you call? What would you want to know?