Where’s my walker?

I’m getting OLD! I just need more cats than any human should have, I need to drive irrationally, and I need to say moderately offensive things because I can and I’ll be right there!

No but really, tomorrow is my 27th birthday. I think these young adult birthday years are some of the worst.

I’m not really THAT old, but certain things are beginning to happen that lead me to believe I’m not as footloose and fancy free as I once was. The main culprit here is responsibility. We’re not even going to talk about that bastard. Responsibility is a dream-killing asshole and we won’t be paying anymore attention to him.

Anywho, my point here is these birthdays are right in the middle of the 2 major types of birthdays. When you’re younger, every birthday is exciting. People buy you toys, and each birthday brings you a step closer to new experiences as you get bigger. When you’re older, birthdays are usually a time for reflection, or for being grumpy that more things hurt today than hurt yesterday and it’s not getting better. Also, people buy you stuff you need and you get to buy yourself something you’ve wanted all year.

These young adult birthdays typically result in being too old for fun stuff, and too broke to buy stuff for yourself. All you’re left with is the being grumpy about getting older, and people figuring you’re too old to buy anything good for anymore.

Well now that I’ve made myself sound old and grumpy by complaining about feeling old and grumpy, I plan on avoiding all semblance of responsibility for the next 24-48 hours.

That’ll teach ’em!

Though I’m not sure who ‘they’ are.

TGIF (Taunting Golfers Is Fun)

I’m actually only giving the one guy I work with a hard time. He’s beien leaving early a couple days a week to play golf. It really doesn’t make any difference to me, it’s not like there’s anything going on right at the moment that he’s getting out of.

I generally meant the title in the standard definition. I just thought I’d post a little something for Friday afternoon/to get you through the weekend.

I have been really dragging these last couple of weeks. I’ve been looking forward to the weekends what seems like an inordinate amount to me. I’m beginning to wonder if maybe, even at the tender young age of 26 going on 27, I’m getting excited for my birthday.
There isn’t any particular reason that I’m looking forward to my birthday. I haven’t made any special plans, or special requests this year. Maybe I’m just being a big old kid, like I talked about yesterday.

I’m a Big Kid Now!

As I was poking around on Freshly Pressed today I came across This Post on sweetandweak.

I felt obligated to post about my own personal inner child.

If you know me well, you know that the concept of me having an inner child is completely ludicrous. I don’t have an inner child and the thought is comical. In case you don’t know me that well, let me explain: I do not, in fact have an inner child. I don’t have an inner child because I never made a conscious decision to put that kid away.

My inner child hangs out with me every day. He’s chillin’ with me right now, and never bothers to go away. You know how little kids never seem to go away, they just hang out and ask you questions right when it’s most inconvenient? Yup, that’s how it works. Notice that with children if you haven’t seen them in a while and it’s quiet, something is seriously wrong? Yep same here.

I suppose I didn’t really stop and say to myself, “Self, let’s never grow up! Let’s really embrace that whole ‘I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys-R-Us kid’ ad campaign.” I just haven’t grown out of so many innocuous, child-like things.

I want to be clear here, it’s not like I can’t handle responsibility. I’m not particularly good at it, but that’s just one of those things. We all have strengths and weaknesses, don’t judge me. Most of my tendencies are in the vein of “I don’t see a reason to stop doing that, just because I’m X number of years old now.”(27 at the end of the month, so really getting up there!)

I’m sure if you ask My Wife, it can be a little taxing some days. Generally speaking, I ATTEMPT to be civilized and respectable and whatnot in front of parents, in-laws, other adults, new friends and ‘serious business’ type friends, mostly for her benefit. I try, I promise. When I’m home alone, or when I can’t contain myself any longer and it’s just My Wife around, all bets are off.

Some of the less ridiculous and embarrassing examples would be: I run and slide across the kitchen floor practically every time I go through the kitchen/dining room in socks, I color in coloring books, and animated movies usually entertain me more than live action ones.

Sometimes it can be one of those personality traits that feels like it’s keeping me from being a ‘Real Adult’. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane in this world where everyone and everything is on a schedule that I can never seem to stay on top of. At the end of the day though, it’s just one of the MANY quirks that makes me who I am.


Wimps! Wimps I say!

As I have shared before, I am a fan of the Cleveland sports teams. That includes the Indians, who had an excellent weekend sweeping the Kansas City Royals during their first home stand of the season. There were also some theatrics on Saturday night that got me riled up about the state of sports and what that says about us as a country.

Top of the 3rd inning, Shin-Soo Choo of the Indians gets hit by a pitch. Choo yells at the pitcher, people meander out of the dugouts, lots of yelling and jawing at one another. Warnings are issued by the umpires (we’ll revisit this in a moment). Bottom of the 3rd inning, Indians pitcher Gomez drills Moustakas from the Royals, benches clear. Jack Hannahan of the Indians lets all the Royals know how he feels about all of this. End result: Gomez, Hannahan, Manager Manny Acta tossed from the Indians.

Seems like a fairly routine set of baseball interactions when someone gets hit by a pitch that may have been not really on purpose, but certainly didn’t upset the pitcher who hit someone, right? That’s exactly the problem. The whole issue I have is that the warning by the umpires always comes as soon as someone gets hit and tempers flare. The umpires tell the adult men, “You’d better behave or we’ll punish you!” Personally, I think the adults can handle it themselves.

Yes, in this particular instance, “Handle it themselves” means someone from the other team gets drilled with a baseball at 90 MPH. I don’t actually see a problem with this. It would have been handled, and if at that point, the umpires want to let everyone know that it should be over and they wont stand for anymore shenanigans, so be it.

As has become the norm for violence in all sports, only the guy who retaliates gets punished. Where’s the problem? You might say, of course he should be punished, retaliation should always be punished. WRONG!

Especially in sports, where people are talented and passionate, and emotions run high, people ought to be able to handle their business on the field/court by themselves. Anyone gets hit by a pitch in baseball, warnings and the next guy who hits someone purposefully or otherwise gets tossed. In football, people start shoving one another after a play, second guy gets flagged. Someone takes a cheap shot or late hit on your guy, you can’t say boo to the guy that did or you get flagged. In basketball, if a guy takes a cheap shot at your star player, you can’t so much as get in the guys face before technical fouls are handed out all around and the first one to complain about that gets a second tech and is thrown out of the game. Even in hockey, where they allow fighting and always have, referees are beginning to limit it to one fight a game, and they only allow a couple punches to be thrown before they step in.

Most people don’t see the issue with limiting the amount of blatant violence allowed in the middle of a sporting event. I’m here to tell you that limiting that reaction is causing us all to become wimps.

Lots of us are taught from the time that we’re little things like: No fighting, violence isn’t the answer, hitting people is wrong no matter what. The problem with that is that there is always someone who will take advantage of someone else who won’t fight back. That applies to people, animals, families, countries, and just about every other interaction that involves living things with instincts.

I’m not saying people should be ready and willing to jump up and fight over every little slight that they might experience. It truly is more admirable to be able to say, “I don’t need to retaliate to this, because I am alright.” If someone never fights back though, someone else is bound to notice and find a way to use this to their benefit.

We are finding ways to try to show everyone, all the time, that fighting back is wrong. You should always “Be the bigger person and walk away.” In an ideal world, yes you should. Our world is far from ideal.

What we should be teaching is how to tell the difference to a minor insult or slight, and an attack on someone/something you believe in/care about.

This is one of those things that categorically sounds like a good thing to teach people. To not retaliate or escalate a situation, but I bet each and every person could think of something that they feel is too much to resist fighting back for or about in a split second.

To me that’s just further proof that somethings really are worth fighting for, and knowing the difference is something we should be learning.

Wanna tell me I’m an idiot? That I should be the King of the World? Comments are at the bottom.

Mad Skillz

So I had this idea.

I solve problems. It’s what I do.

Being presented with a problem or a puzzle gets my juices flowing. The best description I can give, is imagine someone gave you a 20′ rope, tied into a knot the size of a basketball. To me, this looks like a beautiful little treasure chest. I can’t wait to pluck and tease each little strand loose and separate it from it’s fellows. Piece by tiny piece I want to unravel this mystery until I look up to see how much rope was really contained in such a complicated little package.

What I want to know, is how I can market this particular skill. Can I just declare myself an independent consultant of problem solving? I have a sense for the best way to get results out of lots of different situations.

I suspect I’m not just going to be able to jump into a badass suit every morning and walk into people’s businesses and tell them I can solve all their problems. Even if I did that, I would suspect that I might have a hard time charging them $100 and hour for it.

Anyone have any ideas how I could turn this love of puzzle and problem solving into an actual job skill? I’m just laughing at myself over here thinking of driving around in a phenomenal suit, just walking into people’s workplaces telling them I’m the answer to their problems, not knowing what those problems are. It’s a very amusing mental picture.


So I swear, I’m not ignoring my story. In the works.

Anyway, I was noticing today that the seasons (I use that description loosely here in Ohio) mean different things as your circumstances change in life. I’m sure this is obvious to some people, and will be more obvious to others once it’s been pointed out, but I just noticed.

When I was young-ish, spring meant it was getting warmer out, which in turn meant summer was on the way. That meant summer vacation and all the fun that comes from summer vacation!

When I was a teenager, the impending summer vacation meant freedom from school, but that all came tainted with a mandatory vacation with MY PARENTS! The horror! It also usually meant I would be increasing the hours that I spent as a foodstuff transportation engineer (fancy talk for bagger at the grocery store).

In college it meant that I had to move back in with my parents, sacrificing all that glorious freedom I had just become accustomed to.

Now, as an adult (technically), spring means the warming of weather and the melting of snow. Cool mornings with the promise of warm afternoons. The grass starts to grow again, and I never can find the right time to mow it because it’s either not long enough, or too wet to mow. Open windows and cool breezes.

It isn’t just that things feel fresh and new, which they do, but it really feels like the year is beginning. January is nice, and it feels clean with it’s crisp days and bright sunlight, but the new year doesn’t really feel like it begins until you can enjoy moving around outside in the world.

Alright enough happy sunshiny crap, time to focus on baseball and the inevitable stress related illnesses and disappointments that are sure to follow. Roll Tribe!