Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh My! (In Which I Rank Some Animals)

If you’re reading this blog, I feel I can safely assume you heard about all the exotic animals that escaped down in Zanesville.

Between all the animals running loose, and then getting Twitter handles, I must have animals on the brain. Of course there’s the ever present quote from Dorothy that fits any reference to animals more fierce than a housecat.

It makes me want to tell you which animals are better than the rest.

NOTE:These decisions EXCLUDE the animals when used as sports mascots. I don’t need any of you thinking I have some special love for your favorite team just because they happened to pick an awesome animal for their mascot. Anyway, back to the animals.

Turtles – They’re adorable. All slow, and they have shells, which is awesome. I just find them to be particularly fantastic.

Tigers – Better than lions. Tigers are the most awesome of the big cats. Cool stripes, they come in cool colors. Who doesn’t like tigers?

Monkeys – Also, completely adorable. Except for the disease carrying ones. They’re li8ke little kids with fur.

I feel it’s also important to point out that, as awesome as these creatures are, they’re even MORE awesome when animated and/or anthropomorphized. I supposed illustrated counts too.

If you don’t believe me, read Calvin and Hobbes, watch the Curious George movie from 2006, and watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon from the ’80s.

-Christopher

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4 thoughts on “Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh My! (In Which I Rank Some Animals)

  1. I thought you were going to rank animals in importance. Like, “Yeah, I’d kill a rhino before I’d kill a tiger.”

    Let’s do that today! Give me animal hierarchy. Put spiders and snakes at the bottom. Thanks!

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