I really want to impress you all.
Really, I swear.
The trouble is, I don’t have the most impressive things to say at the moment.
So I’m going to have to settle for impressing you with my spectacularly crazy phrasing and analogies.
I’ve recently developed allergies, which cause me to have sinus headaches. These headaches tend to feel like there’s a very small, very angry, imp inside my forehead with a very sharp spear that he uses to attempt to liberate himself just above my right eye. This stabbing pain doesn’t usually subside until I medicate heavily and sleep. It then resumes first thing in the morning.
How was that? Impressed yet? Here’s another:
I’ve always been a fan of coffee. I could care less about the effects of the caffiene from the coffee, I actually enjoy the taste. For a short period of time in college I was obsessed with blended espresso drinks. I couldn’t get enough of them. I have moved away from those slightly and now greatly enjoy a cup of quality coffee. I now drink my coffee black, and I prefer a dark blend. Nothing is better than cup of dark coffee, with the boldness and complexity of a tortured anti-hero. What good is coffee if it isn’t strong enough to force you to stop drinking for a moment and decide what it is that caused you to stop in the first place. What good is a cup of coffee without the complexity of flavors that requires a difficult mathematical equation to analyze.
That one was a little less good. Chew on that for a while.