Well I did it.
I made one post per day, everyday for the entire month of October. I also made one ink drawing every day in October.
Not everything I did this month falls in to the category of “Renaissance Master” or anything like that. The point of forcing myself to make a post and a drawing each day was to force myself to not overthink. There were actually 2 separate movements at work, Inktober is for the drawings, and the ‘Post a Day Challenge’ for the blog.
Not everyone has the same creative issue that I do, but I know plenty of people that do. I overthink and overedit. I can’t get my vision down on paper or digital paper because I’m too busy telling myself how much better it could be.
I stayed focused and got through it. I’m better for it. Let’s just hope that now I can stay with the posting and/or drawing, and come up with some better quality while I let my thoughts marinate for a day or two at a time.
I am a people pleaser.
I suppose this is something that I’ve known for quite awhile, but I’m only now beginning to realize what that really means. I’m not sure if it stems from my particularly intense desire for approval, or if I just never properly learned to say no. What I do know is not only do I fail to say no when I ought to, I somehow manage to volunteer for any number of things I’m not actually capable of, or have any real interest in.
It really is a problem, because at this point in my life, I ought to be able to politely decline a request or a favor. I might decline because I am too busy, or maybe I don’t have the particular skill set required to accomplish the request without significant additional time commitment to learn how. It’s possible I should decline because I am allowing myself to be taken advantage of. It’s also possible that I should decline because by agreeing, I’m actually allowing someone else to continue to ignore something they should be paying attention to.
What it really comes down to is that it’s beginning to become a problem for me. I set unrealistic goals for myself and then come down very hard on myself when they aren’t met. I guilt myself into feeling obligated to attend something or do something so that it becomes impossible to enjoy myself. I don’t want to do something, but I feel I ought to, and then I feel angry that I feel I’m only doing it because I’m guilty. It then becomes an impossible situation because I’m going to end up viewing it negatively no matter what.
It certainly doesn’t help that I tend to be negative and cynical. I’m not sure if that’s caused by my lack of patience, or if both the negativity and lack of patience are the result of some other underlying factor. What I really need to do is decide what is important to me, and begin to make active decisions according to that. If I feel a particular family gathering is not something I care to be a part of, I should politely decline attending, and be satisfied that I have made a decision for myself, based on what I believe to be important.
That’s all well and good, but it’s all a little bit easier said than done.
Just a few disconnected things today.
You might have noticed that there’s no exceptionally long and overly descriptive title up there. I decided that I could include my additional description when it shows up on Facebook/Twitter. If it’s really killing you that I changed it, I can change it back. I was trying to to make it a small paragraph at the top of every post.
My next thought is that I’m beginning to think that I might enjoy coaching. I could be VERY wrong. I might not be any good at running practices. Maybe I wouldn’t handle the excessive amount of game planning that is required at the higher levels.
I just know that I get excited when I get to discuss the ins and outs of football and basketball like specific plays and schemes and the like. Maybe I’ll volunteer someplace with someone I know and find out if I actually like it or not. Maybe I’ll add it to my list of things that would be cool, but aren’t the best idea.
I suppose I might have had something else that was floating around in my head, but it seems to have dissipated.
Short one here.
Why are my ears always hot?
They get hot when it’s hot out. They get hot when I’m cold.
It makes no freaking sense!
My grandmother would claim that my ears are burning because someone is talking about me. If that’s the case, I’m either very popular somewhere, or very hated somewhere.
I suppose all publicity is good publicity, right?
I’ll just go back to cooling my ears now.
I wrote about Calvin an Hobbes not too long ago.
I rekindled my own love of that crazy kid and his lovable tiger. I have to insist that if you have never read any Calvin and Hobbes comic strips, you go find some and read them. For most people, not only will you be entertained, but also your mind will = BLOWN.
Bill Watterson manages to create an endearing child full of all the exuberance and innocence that we all experienced at some point. His best friend is a stuffed tiger that becomes real when no one else is around. While Calvin embodies impulsiveness and childlike wonderment, Hobbes is a realist with teenage-like knowledge and worldviews.
They are a spectacular pair that can boil nearly any issue down to two opposing viewpoints that encompass the bulk of opinions. Wonderful commentary illustrated in an almost watercolor and ink fashion that only enhances the presentation of concepts.
Bill Watterson is a genius. That’s why I’m considering Calvin and Hobbes if I ever get another tattoo.
Strange? A bit. Do I care? Not in the slightest.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a boy and his tiger to spend some time with.
While flipping through channels, I came across a show exploring medieval catholic churches.
That got me thinking about my old art history classes. I took 2 basic art history classes as well as a Renaissance art history class. I found them very interesting.
It also got me wishing that maybe I should have made art history my major. I’m sure it wouldn’t make it any easier to get a job, but it’s right up my alley, skill-wise. I excel at very few things. Things I do excel at include but are not limited to: remembering lists of facts, attention to detail, and learning when presented with verbal and visual instruction. If that doesn’t sound like the job description of something I could do with a degree in art history, then I don’t know what does.
In fact, I like old art way better than modern art. There is a lot of stuff that was made from the ’60s until now that I just find pointless in the way of art. I prefer the representational and the detailed. I enjoy the harsh lighting of the baroque, and the religious significance of the Renaissance. I can’t get enough of the attention to detail and skill present in the Dutch Renaissance masters.
I enjoy what can be done with computers that could never be done before, but abstract modern art doesn’t hit home for me. Neither does politically charged art. Surprisingly, I have a very strong fondness for street art and graffiti. I tend to enjoy text and so artistic representation of text is awesome. I could take or leave the fact that it’s usually done illegally.
Regardless, I should have taken more art history classes. Just because they are interesting. Maybe, just maybe, I still will.
Currently, I can’t seem to get to sleep before around 11:30 at night. Some nights I can, but most times I try, I doze then end up waking up way too early.
I only need about 8.5 hours of sleep, give or take. I don’t need to sleep in until noon or anything, but I wish I could go to bed at midnight and sleep until 8:30.
I’m sure I could do that, but the problem with that is I would be late for work.
Can we take a vote to allow everyone to go in to work whenever they feel like it?
That way the weird people who like to do work in the morning can, while those of us that don’t feel like being up before the sun don’t have to?
Just a thought…